Virgo Men are some of the most stubborn people out there. Theyāre also some of the most sensitive.
Their hard exterior wouldnāt have many people guessing that theyāre total softies on the inside, but itās true, they are.
Fragile and stubborn are the keywords for describing a Virgo man and getting them back can go either way. If you love them, youāll know in your heart what to do.
Before we go any further, I want you to know something that takes the pressure off. In my Virgo Situation Survey of nearly 3,000 women, only 49 percent said they felt a definite connection with their Virgo man, the lowest of any sign, and 23 percent told me they wanted him back but had no idea whether he felt the same way. So if you are reading this with a knot in your stomach, you are in very good company, and you have not done anything wrong.
Here is what I have learned after years of reading these charts: a Virgo man is ruled by Mercury, the planet of thinking, analysis, and language. He does not move through a breakup the way other men do. He replays it, studies it, and quietly decides on his own timeline whether the two of you are worth the effort. Your task is not to chase him down. Your task is to become the calm, self-possessed woman his Mercury mind cannot stop turning over.
If you want the full roadmap to his heart, you can read Virgo Man Secrets, my complete step-by-step guide. And if you are not yet sure where you stand with him, take my free Compatibility Quiz, already completed by 254,331+ women, to see exactly how aligned the two of you really are.
Toughen Up Just Enough: Why a Virgo Man Pulls Away From Big Emotions
If you were the one who got left behind, the Virgo in the relationship might have had multiple reasons for doing so.
If this was a new relationship and you were testing the waters or getting into something with each other, you may have come off as clingy and overly sensitive.
Virgo men arenāt known for their softness or their hidden sensitive side, I mean, itās protected for a reason. Virgoās have a hard time dealing with emotions, and if youāre bringing a wedding planner to your first date, itās probably going to scare him off.
You shouldnāt change who you are for anyone, but if youāre looking to stay with your Virgo man and youāre willing to change, try being tougher. Be emotional, have feelings, but contain them around him to a certain extent.
Be calm and content around him, and heāll do the same for you. Once youāre further into your relationship, heāll get more comfortable with sharing his own emotions with you and opening up.
When he deems himself ready for that big step, you can finally be open and honest about your emotions with him, and you can work together harmoniously.
Give Him Space: The Quiet Window When a Virgo Man Decides About You
When in a relationship, personal space is a sacred thing. Of course, couples will spend more time together and be closer than normal friends or acquaintances, but Virgoās need their time apart.
If you and your Virgo man have split, donāt try to see him or talk to him every day for a while. Give him his own space and let him think everything through.
Virgo men will plan and strategize everything out in their head before taking action, and they need time alone to do so.
Give him enough time to process whatās going on. This time for him will allow you to have your thoughts on the situation too and you can find out what the best plan of action is for your relationship.
Not sure whether his silence means he is gone for good or simply thinking it through? My free Compatibility Quiz, taken by 254,331+ women, will show you where you truly stand with your Virgo man right now.
Let Him See What He Is Missing: How a Virgo Man Reacts When You Move On
Virgo men and jealousy go hand-in-hand. If you start to move on with your life or make it seem like you are, he will most likely become jealous of you or what you have.
You can show him that youāre a changed person and that youāre ready to be independent, and thatās what Virgo men want, they want someone who can be their person, who won’t attach themselves at the Virgoās hip.
If you start having fun on your own or with friends, heāll soon see what heās missing, and he just might come crawling back to you.
A worst case scenario is that he doesnāt come back, but youāre having fun with your friends, so thereās not a big downside.
Talk It Out the Mercury Way: How to Reopen the Conversation Without Scaring Him
Communication can be the simplest thing in a relationship, but when it comes to being with a Virgo man, it can also be the toughest.
Virgo men love to talk things out and hear what you have to say, but they also really need to get their point across.
Urge him to tell you what he thinks the problem in your relationship is or was. Once you find this out, thereāll be more information to grow off of. In this dire time of face-to-face communication, try to avoid getting emotional.
Virgoās are allergic to other peoplesā emotions, and yours are no exception. Speak together logically, and youāll end up resolving something, if not most things.
Virgoās are involved individuals, and theyāre right in a crisis, but that doesnāt mean that they can always handle everything thatās thrown at them.
They need a partner and a friend to be by their side. If you can manage to be both at the same time, youāll be in it for the long haul. Being near a Virgo man is exciting on its own and being in a relationship with one will seem like magic.
To get a Virgo man back, youāre going to have to work for it. If theyāre worth it, it wonāt feel like work.
How Long Does It Take a Virgo Man to Come Back? The Real Timeline
This is the question almost every woman asks me, and the honest answer is that a Virgo man comes back on a Mercury timeline, not an emotional one. He needs to think his way back to you before he ever walks back to you. From the hundreds of women in my 90-day check-in survey, a clear pattern shows up again and again.
In the first 7 to 14 days, he is not missing you yet. He is decompressing and protecting his peace. Reaching out now usually backfires, because it interrupts the very processing he needs to do. Between 15 and 30 days, his analysis softens. The version of you that lives in his head stops being the argument and starts being the warmth, the laughter, the ease. Around the 30 to 90 day mark is when most Virgo men make a quiet move, a low-stakes text, a comment on something you posted, a question that does not really need asking. That is him testing the water. If you stay warm but unbothered, he keeps coming. If you pounce, he retreats back into his head.
The women who get their Virgo man back are almost never the ones who moved fastest. They are the ones who gave his Mercury mind the room to reach its own conclusion, which is exactly the conclusion he wanted to reach anyway.
The One Quiet Signal That Means a Virgo Man Is Already Halfway Back
A Virgo man will rarely announce that he is softening. He shows it in a far quieter way, and once you know what to look for, you will never misread it again. The signal is this: he starts asking you small, practical questions that he does not actually need answered.
It might be a text asking if you still have a book he lent you, or whether you ever fixed the thing your car was doing, or what that restaurant was called. On the surface it looks like nothing. Underneath, it is everything. A Mercury-ruled man uses information as a bridge. When he reaches for a reason to talk to you, even a flimsy one, his mind has already decided it wants you back in his orbit. He is just giving his pride a logical doorway to walk through.
When you see this, do not over-respond. Answer warmly, briefly, and then let the conversation breathe. You are showing him that coming closer to you feels safe, easy, and free of pressure, which is the single thing a Virgo man needs to feel before he fully returns.
Warning: 5 Mistakes That Push a Virgo Man Further Away
I have watched these five mistakes undo months of patience, often in a single afternoon. If you are serious about getting your Virgo man back, guard against all of them.
1. The long emotional letter. Pouring out three pages of feeling overwhelms his Mercury mind and confirms his fear that reuniting means drowning in emotion. Keep anything you send short, calm, and specific.
2. Demanding to know where you stand. Pressing a Virgo man for a decision before he has finished thinking forces him to choose, and a cornered Virgo almost always chooses distance.
3. Weaponizing jealousy on purpose. A little natural independence draws him in. A staged display of another man insults his intelligence, and he will read it instantly and quietly file you under untrustworthy.
4. Rehashing the breakup on a loop. Bringing up the same wound every time you talk keeps him anchored to the worst version of the relationship instead of the warm one his mind is trying to return to.
5. Going completely cold to punish him. Total silence as a power play reads as rejection to a Virgo man, and rather than chase, he will respect the wall you put up and stay behind it.
What He Is Actually Thinking During Those Long Silences
The silence is the part that hurts the most, because you imagine he has simply stopped caring. In almost every chart I read, that is not what is happening at all. During those quiet stretches, your Virgo man is running the relationship frame by frame like an analyst reviewing footage.
He is asking himself whether he can trust you with the soft, hidden parts of himself that he guards so carefully. He is weighing whether being with you will feel like peace or like pressure. One woman in my survey described it perfectly when she said, “He opens up and purges everything, then clams up for ages while he decides what it all meant.” That is the Virgo loop. The silence is not absence. It is him deciding, and the calmer and warmer you remain on your side of it, the more often he decides in your favor.
Frequently Asked Questions About Getting a Virgo Man Back
Will a Virgo man come back on his own?
Very often, yes, but only when he feels no pressure to. A Virgo man needs to arrive at the decision through his own reasoning. If you give him space, stay warm whenever you do connect, and resist the urge to push, you create the exact conditions in which his Mercury mind talks itself back to you. The women who win him back are usually the ones who let him think it was his idea.
How long should I wait before reaching out to a Virgo man?
As a rule, let him have at least two to three weeks of real space before you initiate anything, and even then keep it light. If he reaches out first inside that window, respond warmly but without flooding him. The goal is to be the easy, pleasant presence he remembers, never the source of more pressure he is trying to avoid.
Does ignoring a Virgo man make him miss you?
Calm distance works far better than cold ignoring. There is a difference. Living your life fully, seeing friends, and being a little less available makes a Virgo man curious and a touch jealous of what he is missing. Pointedly ignoring him to provoke a reaction reads as rejection and pushes him deeper into his shell. Aim for warm and busy, not cold and absent.
What should I text a Virgo man to get him back?
Keep it short, specific, and free of pressure. A light callback to a good shared memory works beautifully, something like a single warm sentence about a place you both loved, with no question attached and no demand for a reply. You are reopening a door, not forcing him through it. If you want the exact words, my Virgo Man Magic Phrases gives you texts written specifically for his Mercury mind.
How do I know if my Virgo man is truly done?
A Virgo man who is truly finished goes neutral and tidy. He returns your things, keeps any contact brief and businesslike, and shows no curiosity about your life. A Virgo man who is still deciding stays a little tangled with you, asks small unnecessary questions, and keeps a thread of warmth alive even when he is distant. Tangled means there is still a way back. Neutral and final is your signal to begin healing.
Your Story Matters to Me
Every Virgo man is his own particular puzzle, and I would love to hear about yours. Tell me in the comments where things stand with him right now and what his silence has felt like for you. Reading your stories is how I keep learning the small, telling patterns that help the next woman find her way back to the man she loves.
If you want to understand him even more deeply, I have written more for you here: how to seduce a Virgo man and how to show your love to a Virgo man in the way he actually feels it.
And if the relationship truly ended and you are ready to win him back step by step, my Virgo Man Ex Back Bible walks you through the exact path the women in my survey used to move out of his silence and back into his arms.
I’m recently in a relationship with a Virgo man love him to death its complicated situation but I want our relationship back to good the way it was once b for
HI Judy!
Thank you for writing in. Virgo men are complicated and so relationships with them are often that way. The biggest secret I can tell you about being with one and getting one back is proper communication. When you figure out the right way to talk to him, you’ll figure out exactly what to say in order to make him feel good about being with you. It takes work but if he’s worth it then go for it!
Me and my virgo ex was dating on and off for almost 5 years … we are broken up for almost 5 months now .. everytime we were to get back together something always happen and right now He has a gf and idk what to do
Hi Ellis!
If he has someone else right now then you don’t have a chance. You have to basically maintain friendship with him and wait to see if he works things out with her or if he will become single again. If he does then your friendship will count for a lot in his world. He may then be open to starting a new with him. While he has a woman though, you cannot interfere otherwise it may very well backfire on you. Be careful!
Iām still confused before I told my Virgo man get his things leave so he left something he knew it so he came back act like he forgot the. Wen he left he kept calling me then saying it was mistake he call ok so five days went past ok no call or text Sunday. Came he call I miss it then he text me said he mailed me a package didnāt give me tracking number Iām curious now. My thing is why he think itās ok him text call me wen I do same he Ingor me hmmm funny
Me an my virgo has a on and off relationship but now he has moved all his stuff from my house we lived together but he didnt return my doorkeys does that mean he will cum back or is it over pls help me out here
Hi Colleen!
I don’t think that him keeping the keys means much other than he probably forgot to give them back to you or just doesn’t care enough to give them back. I wouldn’t assume that it’s a door open for you because of this. I’m so sorry honey but if he moved out, he pretty much is making a statement that he is done. If you can possibly maintain some kind of contact and friendship, you may be able to try again later but otherwise, you probably should face what has happened. I’m so very sorry honey.
I love it but I still lost my Virgo guy
My Virgo boyfriend brook up with me after 2 years but I love him and I know he is the one I did everything he didnāt like but I didnāt release what he does like is there anyway to get the spark back with him to start again
Hi Rachel!
I’m sorry that you lost your Virgo guy. It sounds very complicated. The only known way to get a Virgo man back that I know works is by being friends with him again and giving it time. If he’s angry with you or anything like that then he may never let it go as far as holding a grudge forever. If he loved you then he may be up for being friends again then building it back up into something more later. It will take time though.
My Virgo bf told me he does not love me and does not want to talk to me see me and does not find me interesting but now I know what he is instrested in and I know what he likes can I win him back by doing this
Hi Rachel! Virgo men are so complicated and hard to deal with. It may interest him to know that you now understand what he likes and wants. However, he may think you’re trying to be fake in order to get him back. I’m not sure you can win him back simply because you understand what he’s interested in. If he’s not interested, it tends to mean he’s just not feeling it and so even if you want to prove you’re not boring or uninteresting, he’s possibly already invested in moving on. There may still be a possibility but it might be fairly slim. Perhaps it would help you to get to know more about the Virgo man before you make any decisions. Check out my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.
My Virgo Ex left me 9 days ago. He wrote me the letter below. Now I knew him for 2 years and we got along great before he started working, but his parents have great influence over his thoughts. I used to see him a lot at this club we used to go to on a regular basis before he started working, and there are just so many wonderful things I could say about him. Then, he started working. Now instead of the future and us, it’s all about the videogames, being tired all the time from work, and catching up on sleep. Although a part of me is scared because he lost a good 30-50 lbs he is looking at or dating another woman now T_T This letter broke my heart and has left me picking up the pieces after crying for an entire week. I still love him very much and wonder if there is any chance we’ll ever become more than friends again and if so, what to do? If we can only be friends, what to do? Please I need advice and Thank You. This is the letter:
This is probably one of the most difficult things I will ever write. First off I want to say thank you for the nice letter. Secondly, work has been going well though lately I’ve been sleeping more than gaming. Finally, my mood has not been good.
As you know I’ve been giving a lot of thought about the future and our relationship. The constant thinking has darkened my mood. For a long time I was on the fence about what I should do. You’ve noticed the distance has been growing between us and so have I, in fact I’m the cause of this distance. I’ve never been capable of multi-tasking or balancing two seemingly, mutually-opposing things. This includes work and girlfriend.
You probably can guess what comes next but indulge me a bit so I can explain. I have enjoyed all of the time we’ve spent together and I wouldn’t sacrifice those memories for anything. You are a beautiful, loving, generous soul who deserves a boyfriend that can truly appreciate those things. I am not that boyfriend.
These last few months have reminded me of what I am. I am a self-centered, socially-awkward person who would rather spend his free time sleeping and playing video games, than hanging out with his girlfriend. It’s almost a relief if I don’t hear from you. That being said, I still love you and want you to be happy. With that I formally announce the end of our relationship.
I know you’ll be upset and will cry and try to apologize and plead for it to continue. Please don’t. Take some time to think very carefully about things and work them out with your “wit beyond measure”. In time the tears will dry and you can move forward. I would still welcome you as a very good friend and, in time, I hope we can still do the occasional fun thing together.
As a final request, I would ask that you not reply to this e-mail, nor call me up about this, nor send my dad any texts involving this matter. This was our relationship and it’s not fair to pull anyone else in to our private affair.
To sum everything up, I am saying goodbye. The cause of this is me, not you, so please don’t beat yourself up about it. Once you are ready, find someone who can be the boyfriend you truly need, that would make me happier than anything. Finally, I would like to continue as friends, but let the pain of this separation run its full course before we consider entering that zone.
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART!!!!!!!
Hi Laura!
Oh my goodness. I’m so very sorry to read that letter from him. He’s definitely cutting you out 100% and I don’t know if there is anything much you can do to change that. Friendship doesn’t appear to be on the table with him as he doesn’t want to hear from you again. The only thing you can do is move on and hope that with time he would allow for a friendship again but for now, you have to give him his space though he’s pretty clear about knowing he’s not the right one for you. I know it’s hard but for now you need to let go and keep your heart open for someone else who will come into your life and treat you the way you deserve. My heart goes out to you honey!
Oh yeah, if it helps any, my ex got this new job at the beginning of the year and I am a Gemini woman. I think I worried too much about the unimportant things like the future when I should’ve just appreciated having him in my life. Sincerely, I hope it’s not too late now, I feel like I have lost the love of my life, and have made mistakes. I was too hard on him, asked him too many questions, called or write him too much, inviting him places, on top of that I tried to be too perfect by giving generous gifts, baking him cookies, pdas, compliments, etc… is the relationship salvageable at all? T_T
My Virgo moved to a new city and doesnāt want to do long distance. I know he loves me. And we are still friends and we talk at least once a week. But Iām not sure if I should move there or let him go
Hi Sunshine!
I think you should ask him that very question. Tell him you really love him and you want to find a way to make it work rather than letting go. Ask him if you should move to where he is or if you should just let go. He should tell you what his preference is and that will give you a good idea of what decision you need to make about this. I wish you the best!
Hi Anna,
I just started to be in relationship with this virgo man for a month and I found out that he was hanging out with his female friend without letting me know. And he said it was his fault and we tried to work things out by opening up more. But I kept telling him that he was messed up and he should figure himself first before he dragged me into this hurtful moment. So he wanted to stop and didnāt want to commit in any relationship. I tried to persuade him that we can work things out again but i was too late. What should i do?
Hi Lily!
Oops Virgo men do tend to have female friends. It seems he feels you accused him of being with someone else and that it was too hurtful for you. He felt as though you were blaming him for something he didn’t intend to do to hurt you. He is probably angry with it and that’s why he called it off. All you can do is apologize and tell him you misunderstood the situation and you’d like to try again with a promise that you’ll be more understanding. If you need more help though, you can check out my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.
Hi Anna,
I met my Virgo man beginning of March weāve gone out on a couple of days, have been intimate a few times and I made the mistake of asking if he āsaw us in the direction of being more open to something more meaningfulā. I did NOT ask if he wants to be in a relationship but apparently thatās how guys interpret that – period (lesson learned hahaha). He knows Iām not the type of woman interested in a FWB situation and knows from the beginning that Iām not looking for anything just casual – he said he isnāt either but I know he has āfriendsā (how he identifies women and everyone – i guess itās SAFE for him).
Long story short, he said āheās not ready for a relationship right now but he really likes being friends with me a lotā and we have a great connection and vibe! When Iāve jokingly asked if Iām āfriend zonedā his response is āreally now?!ā So I guess that means NO lol
I know now that bringing that up sort of pushed him away, and Iāve given him space to figure things out. There have been a couple times prior to that where Iāve tried cutting him loose but he didnāt want that.
It also seems that he is interested because even after bringing that up about a week ago, heās texted and reached out to me after only two days. Since then, heās texted here and there and sends me funny memes on my messenger and I feel this is his way of staying connected with me (especially now during this pandemic). Iām wondering if there is a way to get us back to where we used to communicate or where he would be interested in spending time with me again? Or do I need to remain patient and give him the space that he needs to figure things out as some of your articles have said?
Iām a Taurus woman and I feel heās worth the wait. Your thoughts?
Hope youāre well and safe during this crazy time of ours and love your blogs and articles! Very helpful!
Thank you for any insight on what to do!
PS my other male Virgo friend have me some suggestions and posting a pic with him was an idea to see if I would get a reaction from my guy. He said my guy would either:
A. LIKE the post and feel a weight has been taken from my attention towards him or…
B. He will not like the post because he will become slightly jealous and wonder who this other guy is and all these other thoughts…
Well he did NOT like the post and had reach out with a random text and some messages that particular day hehe so thatās good I think? Ugggh… help?! xoxo
PS#2: we live 45 min from each other and last time we spent time together was about 2 weeks ago.
Hi Anna,
I m very doubtful and worst situation. Before January everything was great but after Jan when our marriage talk started from then everything is spoiled. Twice a time we have fight and he don’t like that I tell about our fight to our friends but when I was in tension and I was very disappointed , I have taken a help one of his friend. But things get more worst.
But I had sorry for that and said I have never done. But he change from Jan and I was very confused now.
I started giving him space but I m fragel now because he just reply for my msg not initiate.
His dad calling me regarding marriage then I said pls first ask him. Then he said he has no problem. I think your fight has over.
But I don’t know he is change know . we haven’t talk as we were. He haven’t showing any care in his talk . no any relationship type talk.
I mean I don’t know , he spent time with their friends including girls but when I ask then said yaar don’t restrict me. When I said I m not restrict but I had to talk imp thing that’s I said you playing game with your friends but not even try to understand what I said.
I mean what I do now . I wanted to ask that is you have changed your interest or you cheat me. But right now I am not asking that type of question.
What I do pls help me. How to bring stability in my relation. It’s been very difficult to me. I m in a delima when we haven’t talk any relationship like talk then why marry. Sometimes I feel he afraid to take responsibility.
I don’t know pls help.
Forget it… I ended things with him. Felt like I was just an option. He said thatās not what heās trying to do and apologized for making me feel that way. The other day said he missed me āalwaysā and then kept saying āI really like being friends with youā… But his actions reflected otherwise. I said goodbye and unfriended him on Facebook…
Hi Miss S!
If you felt like you were just an option to him then that’s good you ended it. You need to feel like a priority honey. Always know that and never accept anything less. You need a man who will give you what you need and be able to show how much he cares without games. Don’t write off all Virgo men though because of this one. If you need more help or invormation, you can check out my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.
Hi Anna, my situation with this Virgo man is complicated itās been on and off we talk and then we donāt… because I didnāt understand his little subtle ways of showing he was interested. I started dating some other guy on deployment who broke my heart. I started seeing the Virgo again but I was more focused on sex and I was very cold with him. He never directly told me he was interested he would just do little things I thought was cute taking pics of me, looking around my place, trying to ask questions etc, but I was so hurt that I wasnāt ready to be vulnerable and I just thought he was being nice but not that he was actually interested… we would have sex and then I would leave because I didnāt want to catch feelings. Eventually I started dating someone seriously and cut the Virgo off… welp he wouldnāt stop texting me letās just say that didnāt go well. He kept saying āIāll remember thisā and then we got into a heated argument because he started asking if I had a boyfriend. I was annoyed like he never said āhey Iām interested in dating you and getting to know youā so of course I thought it was just sex and was annoyed that he was acting jealous smh. Then eventually when things were done with the last guy which I only dated because I was comfortable in reality the guy I wanted was the Virgo but of course I was scared of rejection Iām a Scorpio we donāt like to show our cards until we are certain the person likes us. So I acted distant and cold too because I donāt want to come off as crazy or clingy just because Iām being sweet and caring. I hate that feeling. Anyway when I broke up with that guy I reached out to the Virgo again and again more ups and downs, we finally hung out again and it was perfect it was so amazing. And then he went back to being cold and on and off because I never actually expressed how I felt about him. Anyway, I ended up moving because of work and he still kept messaging me then I realized how I had to show him that I care because obviously if after all the mean things I said and heās still talking to me and after I ignored him for a year heās still talking to me thereās gotta be something there between us. So I decided to put in the work showing patience and consistency and now heās away for work Iām being more open with him showing him I care with actions because I donāt think he cares much for words… letās just say little by little heās softening up a bit to me but sometimes Iām not sure because he doesnāt verbalize his feelings we exchange playlists and it was so sweet him finally opening up more and I sent him notes of my thoughts of all the songs he shared because I wanted him to know I actually listened to them and I actually took the time to review it all. He loved it and showed more softness for me. But now we spoke of where he plans on staying and Iām In DC for work and heās in CA … he said he planned on staying there for now. Military life I tell you and I told him I donāt see CA as a long term place and letās just say heās radio silent now. Iāll be going back to Ca for my last tour but I donāt plan on settling there and i kinda told him that so Iām not sure if he took that the wrong way… Iām not sure if Iām wasting my time… itās like 2 steps forward then 5 back. His birthday is coming up and I wanted to paint him something of his favorite band he shared with me but I donāt know if thatāll be seen as crazy. I have an irrational fear from
Past relationships where I donāt want to appear that way because my love language is acts like that… cooking, gifts, loads of affections. But so far nothing Iāve said or done he considers crazy so Iām not sure…
Hi DM!
That sounds very frustrating. Virgo men are difficult because they are the one sign in the zodiac that doesn’t actually require a mate to be happy. They will live a single life forever and be alright with it. Sometimes they do want to have someone though but on their terms. I totally get why you feel the way you do but I do think communication need to happen. Be honest with him about what you think or feel and ask him for the same even when he doesn’t offer it up. You two need to find each other fast so you can figure out if there is hope. If you need more help though, you can check out my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.
I am a Cancer women and i connected with a virgo man on a dating site, we talked about everything and on the first day he asked me to travel with him to Houston for a weekend trip and he also asked me to go camping with him and we havent even met face to face, he told me he liked my vibe, i told him lets get to know each other first and on the first date he was kissing me passonately in my ear at the restaurant and he told me i was way more beautilful in person and the next date we had sex and he asked for me to be in a monogamous relationship and while getting to know hm he had told me that his ex wife had a drinking problem and he had custody of the three children and he dont drink in front of them but for our dates he would drink. … so one day he came to me and said that he would not be drinking on our dates and im like well cool, but i started trying to push him bc all my relationships you drink wine and have dinnner, i have never had any relationships where no one drink and we had this big disagreement and he sent me a text stating that eh couldnt believe that i was bothered by his deciosion and it seemed like I wanted a drinking buddy and not a real man, and i was like i am so used to my ex having drinks at dinner and i pushed him away saying it wouldnt work between us, and then he sent me a text saying he will miss me and i showed him how to be wanted again and i would never find anyone like him and wished me the best and by the time i talked to my mom and best friend on the situation, i went back to apologize and to tell him how terribly sorry i was and i was wrong i shouldnt have pushed him away, he sent me a text saying too late and that he doesnt want to be with me anymore, please help do you think he is gone for good
Hi Anna!
Gee, nice name š Alright so pushing him on the drinking made him realize that he doesn’t want to be told what to do or not to do. This is typical of a Virgo man. They’re strong on their convictions and once they decide something, they don’t want to be hassled to change. Virgo men don’t want anyone to try to change them at all. The are strong personalities for sure. I’m not sure he’s done for good though. If he really seemed to care for you then all that may be needed is some time and space for him to chill out a bit. Give him a few weeks then send him a tester “text” to say “Hey you, I Hope you are doing well”. If he answers then the door is not yet shut. If he doesn’t then he likely has closed the chapter and has moved on. Give it a little more time to see what happens with him.
Hi Anna,
My Virgo man broke up with me a few days ago after 2 years together. We had disagreements and arguments for the past three months before this, we would talk about them and work on fixing. The week he broke up with me we had minor disagreement that just led him to breaking up with me saying he thought about this long and hard and it was the best decision. He told me he was no longer in love with me and that he doesnāt see himself marrying me. Itās been 2 days and I havenāt contacted him but he has been text me saying how sorry he is and he didnāt mean to hurt me, he said heās scared of marriage commitment and he needs to work on that and I shouldnāt be In the middle of his indecisiveness.
Do you think itās forever over? Is his reaching out a sign he may return?
Hi Elle!
Yikes so he thought about it a lot longer than you knew about. Sounds right because they are overly analytical typically. He must have thought about what he perceives as flaws or incompatibilities that pushed him to shut his heart down to you. A Virgo man in love will fight. Now, him saying he’s scared of marriage is probably legitimate. Tell him this “it’s my decision whether I want to go through it with you or not. It’s not fair that you are trying protect me. I want to keep trying so give me that chance. We’ll go slow if you need to but don’t let go out of fear”. I think that may open his eyes a bit seeing how committed you actually are. Virgo men need this reassurance.
Hi Anna,
I’ve been seeing my Virgo man for over 7 months. Things were going so well, I know he has feelings for me, at Christmas we talked about our future together etc. It was great. But now – due to the pandemic, multiple lockdowns, he couldn’t work. He managed to get himself a temporary job just over a month ago – he works every day for the past month without a proper break. He works afternoons and evenings and gets home very late so I have not been able to see him much. Turns out he works this job to help his family who lives abroad and currently is experiencing big issues. He’s tired and stressed. I feel I pushed him away by wanting to be in daily contact (messaging) like we used to be. See him at least once a week. I want to support him too in these difficult times! And me being a Gemini, communication is important to me. He kept saying it’s difficult, hard time right now and wanted to come after work one evening to talk with me properly. We hadn’t had this chat as his work was busy every night at that time and now I feel I really pushed him away by keep pressing him/messaging every day about it. I said to him: ‘things could be fine if he communicated better.’ (He would message but then became very slow in responding to my messages lately) I told him: ‘and if he can’t do it, then please tell me. That I liked him very much but this is important to me.’ He replied the following day with: Sorry, I can’t reply because I’m not feeling good’ that was that. What does this mean?
He stopped going on the messaging platform after that.
The following day I texted him that: ‘I’m sorry he’s not feeling good. And that I want him to know that I’m there for him’. He read the text in the evening but no response. It’s been only a couple of days since but can you give me an insight into him/this situation? Does he just need space to deal with his work and family issues? Is he coming back. I’m giving him space now. I don’t want to lose him. Not sure what to do. (And I hope he wouldn’t just disappear – I would not expect this from him š
Please help, how do I deal with this situation? How much space I should give him?
Thank you,
Bella
Hi Bella!
If he says he isn’t feeling good, it means he’s inside his own head. He’s over thinking things going on in his life that makes it hard for him to focus enough to talk. This is very common for Virgo men. They are stressed and overwhelmed but typically by their own minds making mountains out of ant hills. Their brains operate full time. He is probably having insomnia to go along with it. Be patient with him. Every now and then you can send a very simple text to let him know you are still there. Something like “Hope you are well, thinking of you”. If you do this then eventually he will get past this stuff and back to you. I wouldn’t give it up too quickly.
Thank you Anna. Him and I started talking again. But basically heās saying āhe canāt see me as he finishes at 11 at night and works every day. That itās very hard time and that I know how expensive living over here is, he needs this job and that heās very sorry about this.ā
I get it but we donāt live far from each other – about 30min walk/15min on bus (we donāt drive in central London). I even offered to come to him like once a week before he goes to work in the afternoon! Itās been like this since just after Christmas in Dec and weāre in middle of February (I saw him couple of times because I needed help with something and once I just turned up to clear up our misunderstanding and we had a nice talk and hugs. Now he doesnāt even help) I canāt believe this. It feels like what we had – those 7 months, talking about the future together – him talking about the future was not really real š Do you see where Iām coming from? Why wouldnāt he see me before he goes to work? I know this situation is not forever – lockdown will finish, more places will gradually open so he will get a normal job in a month or two…by April but still. He said he really misses me and hopes to see me āsoonā .so wouldnāt you make a bit of time now and then for that person when you miss them? We are not there far and I could even come to his place. But him just saying he canāt see me as he works every day till very late and that Iām really sorry. So it sounds like it is over between us š I really donāt think Iām asking for much. Would you not agree?
Hi again Bella!
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Thank you Anna. Iām not sure what happened with my previous message so just in case, here it is again. Him and I have been talking again. But in his last message he said that āIām at work now and I finish at 11, every day, no break, and itās hard time, that āI know how expensive everything here is, he needs this job and that heās very sorry about thisā. So it sounds like itās over between us š
I mean, when you really want to see someone, you make time right? We donāt live far from each other – 35min walk/15min by bus (we donāt drive in central London). I even said I could come to him before work like once a week! I donāt get it. Itās been like this since just after Christmas/end December and now weāre in middle of February. I saw him three times during this time – twice briefly because I needed help with something and once/most recently I just showed up to clear a misunderstanding- we had a nice talk and hugs. But he doesnāt even help me now. And I donāt ask for help often, hardly ever. I get heās busy and tired and stressed. But still. Cutting me out like this? He did say he misses me and hopes to see me āsoonā …so wouldnāt you make time for the person at least once in a while? Iām here for him and he knows that. It sounds like what we had, those 7 months…him talking about our future together at Christmas was not real š I know this difficult situation is not forever- lockdown will finish in a month, more places will gradually open so he will get a normal/better job in a month or two or in April. But him saying āhe works every day no break and Iām really sorry about thisā š so thatās it? I donāt really think Iām asking for much. I have my needs too. What are your thoughts? Thank you.
Thing is I have a big heart sometimes I wish I was heart less but thatās just not me he knows that my Virgo man knows how my heart is still donāt think I donāt treat him right well if u love me u wouldnāt treat me and u listing like. I do listing u never listing to me Iām confused I love him still
Hi Anna! I was overly emotional with my Virgo guy, but I know we connected pretty deeply, even though we only knew each other 4 months. I was separated and in the process of getting a divorce when we met and told him I didnāt want to sleep with him until that was official. My ex and I were still living together, off and on. He wanted to have sex of course but was willing to wait. I confided in him about the pain of my marriage, and I didnāt realize what a big deal it was at the time, but he opened up emotionally to me too. I was working through so much baggage from my marriage, and he knew how much pain there was there, and would always be so patient and understanding. We never did sleep together, but planned to as soon as the divorce was final. Which was a couple weeks away. But as that got closer he started pulling away, took longer to respond to texts, ghosted me on a couple, then flaked on a date. I then I broke it off in my insecurity bc of my past relationship with my ex. He blocked me on his phone, but not on social. I handwrote him a heartfelt apology afterwards and mailed it. He never responded. I then sent him an IG message and explained how much I missed him, and why I reacted to him the way I did.. that it was my past baggage and trauma, that I was projecting and that he didnāt deserve it. No response to that either. A week later, I wrote him again apologizing and telling him I didnāt understand by we couldnāt at least be friends, that I wasnāt sure if he actually hated me the entire time and was just waiting to have sex, or if he loved me and couldnāt bear to talk to me anymore. He wrote back to that one, and said we could get together to talk, that we could probably stay friends, but he didnāt set a time to meet at all. This was two weeks ago. I sent him a thinking of you text and a song I found that I like five days ago and he ālovedā them but didnāt say anything or move into a conversation. What does this mean? Do I stop messaging? Keep messaging? Message once a month? I miss him so much.
Hi Laura!
Oh my goodness… he friend zoned you. That’s not a good thing. It means he’d enjoy hanging out but doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with you. If he hasn’t contacted you or committed to actually hanging out though, he probably said what he did to be nice and make you feel less hurt. I’d stop contacting him for a while. Give it two or three months before you randomly send a “How are you doing? Thinking of you” message. In the meantime I think you should work on your own path and don’t stop dating because you’d be closing your heart off for someone that may or may not come around. I wish you all the love you truly deserve sweetheart!
I have been talking to a Virgo man for a month. I thought everything was going good and he just stop communicating. I text him and call him and he doesnāt respond.