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Who Makes the First Move? The Virgo Man or You?

Have you found a Virgo man completely irresistible and wondering what you can do to get near him? Who makes the first move? Will you need to make the first move?

Who takes the lead with the Virgo guy?

Across the Room: Who Makes the First Move?

Virgo men can be reluctant to go out of their way and make the first move. It’s not because he doesn’t want to. It’s that he doesn’t want to waste any time on someone who may not want him.

This means that if you’re interested in him, you’ll need to actually find a way to let him know you’re into him. Flirt with him, talk to him, gently touch him on the arm or shoulder.

Figure out a clever and witty way to reach out to him so that he definitively knows that you are genuinely interested. At first; he may question your motives. After he starts talking to you, he’ll figure out if you’re for real or have false intention.

While not all Virgo men subscribe to the same tactics, most of them will want you to let them know that it’s alright for him to come onto you. Once you let him know you like him, he’ll take it from there.

If you haven’t yet met him but have been watching him, find a reason to get nearby him and make some conversation. Once you’re comfortable, you can touch his hand, laugh at his jokes, and give him your “come hither” eyes.

The Next Move

Young couple flirting and drinking wine on a bed - who makes the first move the virgo man or you

Once you let him know that you have an interest in getting to know him. He should take it from there and begin calling you, asking you out for coffee, or even out for lunch.

He may at first get your number and start text messaging you. He wants to ask you a million and one questions to begin assessing who you are and what you want in your life.

Ultimately, a Virgo will not take interest in someone who he doesn’t feel some sort of “chemistry” with. He will have “friendly” dates at first. During this time, he’ll figure out if you’re someone he wants to get closer to or not.

There are some Virgo men that may have different moon signs which could make them want you to take the lead. He should make it pretty obvious to you and quickly what he will want. If he makes the first move will depend on him.

Taking Over the Chase

Most Virgo men like the chase. If you’re too easy or open up too much, he’ll get bored. However, if you’re going to allow him to chase you, you cannot seem too uninterested or unavailable.

If you act as though you aren’t all that into it, he’ll think you’re being serious and he’ll go ahead and move on. It’s not worth the risk if you really like him. Pull back just a little bit though.

What I mean by that is, let him take the lead. You can text him good morning but then let him talk from there. He’ll likely want to give you a call as many Virgo men actually want to hear your voice.

He analyzes the way you speak and how you answer questions. It’s part of his “getting to know you” process. Text messages can sometimes be misconstrued and that’s something he doesn’t want to happen.

If he’s the kind of Virgo that wants you to do the chasing and the work, he’ll let you know by gently pulling back and wait for you to text or call him first. He’ll say something like “I think you should call me”. If he makes the first move, you’re lucky.

Once you see he is like this, you should then go ahead and start reaching out a bit more to him. It lets him know that you’re very interested in getting to know who he is and where things can go between you.

Playing Cat and Mouse

Young man holding bottle of beer and flirting with female bartender - who makes the first move the virgo man or you

Basically, when it comes to Virgo men, it takes a bit of chasing from both sides. If you try to pull back via not answering texts right away, not accepting his calls, or not calling him back, you’d be making a grave mistake.

He will take this as an insult and that you don’t like him. He’ll withdraw and either pull back from you or he’ll go ahead and call it quits so he can find someone else who will be there for him.

Ultimately, he is looking for the right match that will stay with him through the duration of time. He wants loyalty and commitment. He isn’t one to take dating lightly.

If he blesses you with his attention, he apparently sees something that can become very strong and amazing between you two. He doesn’t play games either. He is above doing that. It’s best that you don’t implement any.

While it may seem like it’s a dance of sorts, the two of you flirting back and forth should ultimately lead somewhere of significance. He won’t even get involved with someone unless he’s sure they could be the right one for him. If he makes the first move will depend on what he thinks of you.

He Needs a Little Push

He’s a delicate soul that needs a bit of prompting and yet given the tools to pursue you as you pursue him. It’s more of an equal thing.

I’ve had some clients write in and say that their Virgo sometimes doesn’t text back and feels a bit cold. They do require a bit of personal space and as long as you give it to them, they’ll give you the moon.

This romantic guy needs his equal. It’s up to you to see if you’re ready for the challenge of doing the wonderful “courting dance” that will be done in getting to know him for who he really is.

Hopefully, this gives you a good idea of what it’s like to get a Virgo man and how to get him to want you.

So, who makes the first move depends on both of you.

He certainly wants to get to know you on a deeper level. Click here to find out why he tends to ask so many questions about you.

Share your story (or situation) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).

Wishing you all the luck of the universe!

Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,

Anna Kovach



23 thoughts on “Who Makes the First Move? The Virgo Man or You?

  1. I really enjoy and appreciate your in site…I absolutely adore my Virgo man …I understand him on so many Levels because I’m a Virgo woman …but he still puzzles me.

    1. Hi Rachelle!

      Virgo men can be different than Virgo women due to the hormonal differences. It makes absolute sense that women think differently than men therefore there will be some things that work well for the male aspect but not so much the female aspect. Hang in there, if you two can find common ground and keep your communication open, you can find success!

  2. Hello. I want your opinion please. I am Dating a Virgo man 2 month now, we speak everyday.He said he wants a relationship but we haven’t met for 5weeks! And never had sex.He always says he is busy with work, and although he spends time with friends he never asks me out. When I compain that this is not a normal relationship and ask him why he is avoiding me, he replies that everything is fine and that he likes me,and its all in my mind.I stopped contact him , and he doesn’t understand that he pushed me away. Is this normal?

    1. The things he is saying sounds like something a Covert narcissist says. RUN! Don’t go by what he says,….watch what he actually does! Which isn’t much. You can do better girl!!!

    2. no one is busier than a person who is not interested in you. You deserve better than this. This has got nothing to do with him being a Virgo. If he wanted to be with you he would have made time.

    3. Hi Mary!

      I actually agree with the other two people who commented to you. Virgo men make effort when they really like someone. Your guy is no different. If he keeps blowing you off yet hanging out with other people then he’s showing you by his actions that he’s not that into you. Until he picks up the pace, you’ve got nothing to work with. Call him out on his actions and if he tells you it’s all in your head then walk away honey. You deserve better!

  3. I gave this guy my number after working woth him a short period of time and perceiving all the eye contact from him as the go ahead. It’s been 5 days and he hasn’t called. I’m trying not to think of it, but I am. I also complimented him in front of his dad saying “I see where he gets his good looks from” (which he seemed to like), would touch him subtly on his arm or back here and there and would sometimes look at him and try to hold eye contact here and there.

    Did I do too much? Is it normal for them to take this long to call or is he just not interested?

    1. Hi Ariel! I think that he’s not sure of what your intention is and that may make him uneasy. I’m not saying you did too much but Virgo men are fickle. They analyze everything you do and say. Be that as it may, they’re not good at picking up on hints or trying to guess what it is you want from them. Even if you are physically touching him and flirting, he may still not fully “get it”. He may think you’re being merely friendly. I suggest you just tell him that you like him and you’d like to see what the future holds between you if he’s up for it. Sometimes just telling him verbally what you want works wonders. If you need more tips, you may want to check out my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.

  4. I met a Virgo man who I really do like. He’s going through a lot of things in his life and I’m trying to be understanding. I think this is why he’s opened up to me and we’ve been in touch almost daily for several months. It has been very slow going. He says he’s not ready for a really committed relationship, but also told me he was afraid he’d lose me. We became good friends and there has always been an attraction. We met after about 5 months of talking and he flew out her just for one night to see me. It was a great date, we were so comfortable with each other. He was holding my hand in no time. We talked for 6 hours and did a little making out, but not too far. Though farther than I think we both expected. He was the one initiating all of it. When he left, he was texting me all the time and then about a week later he was quiet. For the first time he didn’t even answer my text and I did get a little upset. He asked me to manage my expectations. I told him I didn’t think we were in a relationship, but it was more about respect. After that he answered my text immediately. He said he needed some time though and he was being pressured to go back to his wife, who left him. After another week, I told him I had thought about things and believed we should try and just stay friends, because I didn’t want to get hurt. He said he respected that and wanted to stay in touch and still see each other. Since then he really hasn’t asked me about my life at all, his text are short and just answering me. The last text he sent me was about a week after I had sent him one and he just wished me Merry Christmas. I later text him telling him how much respect I had for him and what a good man I thought he was and I missed talking with him and wanted to try again. He hasn’t gone back to his former relationship, but he hasn’t answered me in over two weeks. What can I do?

    1. Hi Elle! It seems that now you are stuck in the friend zone since you put yourself there. I totally get why you did it but unless you indicate to him otherwise, he’s going to believe that you’re just friends and therefore he doesn’t have to keep up with you as much as he may have when you two were a little more. If you want more you need to tell him that and let him decide if he’s up for it yet or if he’s still hesitant. Ask him and let him know how you feel. If you need more tips or tricks, you may want to check out my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.

  5. I am a virgo man. I read a few of your articles and you hit the target on our ways. We are finicky, sensitive, and we protect our hearts from getting hurt. We help others with no intentions of a reward. Helping people makes us happy. And when we meet women we only give 50% of our love then slowly move in. As soon as love stings we back off and if we like what we see, feel emotionally & physically, and intellectually with no games involved we go in full bore with an open heart.

    1. Hi paul,

      Im currently is chasing this virgo man. We had events where we were together. These events went on for almost 2 weeks. It was ultimately great. He gave signals and it was great. We spooned and hugged and kissed. The attention he was giving me was great.

      We eventually talked what was happening and he told me frankly that he’s looking for someone and looking for a serious relationship.

      Its been 2 weeks since and what have been happening is i text him all the time. Morning greetings and all. as well as goodnight. And the convo has been great. But he never texts me first.

      I wont be asking until when do i need to keep doing this because i dont mind. But whem do i need to limit and have that talk regarding going into more serious approach? I know virgo man dont like to be pushed. Do i need to be patient until he approaches me with more serious talks?? Thanks

      1. Hi Talker!

        I think your mistake is that you’re chasing him. Virgo men like strong independent women. He doesn’t want to be chased. He sees that as a weakness or flaw in a woman. If you’re constantly reaching out to him and he’s stopped responding or initiating, it’s because he doesn’t like it. Try backing off a bit and only messaging him once in a while. Once he sees you have a life and aren’t focused completely on him, he may pick up the slack and be more interested. Do not talk about serious issues until he’s ready otherwise you’re pressuring him. Take your time and be patient!

    2. Hi Paul!

      Thank you so much for writing in on behalf of Virgo men. I’m glad that you’ve verified much of what I’ve tried to help women with. You guys are complicated but very loving and loyal when you find the right one. I know this to be true. Again, I appreciate your input. I wish more Virgo men would reach out!

  6. I really love a Virgo male and I can’t get him out of my mind. I’m a Sagittarius girl to and I don’t under stand. I don’t find him boring either. He goes around asking other people about me and what I am doing. Then he gives out comments what type of girls hes interested in When my friend tells me this it makes me all happy. But then later when he’s around me he is quite and doesn’t talk. I want him to open up to me.

    1. Hi Janna! Your Virgo guy probably actually likes you and feels shy when he’s around you which is why he gets all awkward. This is totally 100% normal for a Virgo man to do sweetheart. You’ve got to open him up slowly and be patient with him. You’ve also got to let him know directly that you’re interested in him. Once you do that then he knows he has a green light to make the next move and get the ball rolling. Don’t be afraid to reach out and make the first move. He wants to know you’re into him. Once he knows, he’ll start acting accordingly. He may still act very shy or reserved for a while until he really gets to know you. Again, this is all normal. If you’d like to know more about the Virgo man, you may want to check my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.

  7. This article is awesome! May I have some Advice?

    There’s this video sun, Gemini moon, Man I have been chatting with for about 2 months now. At the beginning I came on really strong (asked him out 3 times, and flirted obviously) and he told me that he just wants to be friends. Though the more we talk and get to know each other the more strongly I feel. Since he ”Friend zoned” me, and since then I have given him the space to be himself. (waiting a day or 2 before he or I will text each other) Reading this article did shine some light and confirmed how I approach him is most likely the right way. But is it possible he can still be interested in me? If he says goodnight to me, and at one point he helped me find upgrades for my PC and offered to help me financially? (He said he would loan me some cash, though it felt like he was just saying that out of courtesy. He asked me what was wrong and .. ha I let him have it.) I always take interest in what he does when the conversation arises and make mental notes on his likes and dislikes. At times I can be very vocal about my likes and dislikes and can see how that might Deter him. Though when I start a conversation he always has lots to say, and it’s fun! but never asks me questions, and doesn’t make any effort to be “Friends” other than the occasional Fortnite Matches we play together with his brothers.

    I am a Piscese sun, Cancer moon. So I am probably reading too much into this. Any advice is appreciated.

    1. Hi Natasha! When it comes to Virgo men, you have to take them at face value. They typically have well thought out things many times over before they say it in which case, they do mean what they say. If he’s saying he only wants to be friends then that is likely what he means. Even if he likes you for more, he’s going to wait a good long time before he goes down that road because honestly, he’d rather be friends first and get to know you. Try to stick with the friendship and maybe within some time he’ll come around and show more interest. Be patient and keep doing things how you have.

  8. I’m a Aries women dating a Virgo man for the pass three weeks. He was very attentive with me the first two weeks of us meeting.he would text me throughout the day, asking to see me, telling he missed me and hasn’t felt this way for a long time for someone. After two weeks we were together intimately and I noticed he stoped communicating the way he had prior. When we see each other’s he’s very attentive and loving with me, makes me feel like I’m the only one After being intimate and throughout the night while sleeping he will hold my hand. He dose still call me a night to talk and occasionally he’ll text me once a day. But when I send him a text seems like he’s not replying till the end of the day if that. This has led me to ask for advice regarding him asking for me to spend memorial weekend with him on a trip but he’ll be taking. I told him I would confirm with him if I didn’t have my kiddos. I did send him a text message last week letting him know “I would love to join him if he still wanted me to.” He never replied to my text nor have I brought it up to him again. I’m feeling a bit anxious regarding the subject as I would like to spend the weekend with him and I would like to plan ahead.
    My question is, Is he still interested in me? Should I ask him the next time we talk on the phone about spending memorial weekend together?

    1. Hi Ruth, I’m sorry I hadn’t seen this sooner. I wonder how your Memorial weekend went and how things are between the two of you. The best policy with Virgo men is to always be honest and upfront about what you’re thinking or feeling so that they know where you stand and then they have to figure out what they want and if it matches up with your desires. I do hope things are going well but if you have other questions, you might want to check out my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.

  9. I have a crush on virgo man, We met during My cousin brother’s wedding we had eye contact,offered me and my mom help of car when we were stuck.During wedding he was around /nearby whenever i observed,came to talk but didnt asked my Name.But i really find him genuine.I have checked his instagram to check wheather he is single or commited(seems single),should i sent him instagram request?

    1. Hi Heer!

      Yes, if you are interested in him then you’ve got to be totally honest in letting him know that otherwise he may be oblivious to it and you’ll never hear from him. Go ahead and send him a request. If he is interested, he’ll let you know but you’ve got to take initiative first!

  10. I’m an Aquarius in love with a Virgo guy, we were first loves and now we are adults (28&29) we have had a back and fourth sexual/ a little emotional relationship, in the beginning we were both in relationships cheating 🤦🏾‍♀️(Not proud of the fact) so I cut it off…now he has broken up with her and I’m still with my guy I cheated on and can’t stop thinking of my Virgo….(6 months later after I ended our affair) he reached out on my birthday which lead me back into his love trap and I went to visit him to talk but more than talking happened. I’m wondering how he see me, what do I mean to him! I want to be with him but I feel like I look like a side piece of ass but he respects me so much and we just have a connection that I want in my relationship (I don’t plan to be with the man I’m with because of this feeling for my Virgo) keep my cool with my Virgo tho and I don’t try and put all of my feelings out there assuming he knows since we are first loves. So when do I make my next move on my Virgo in this scenario: haven’t seen each other in months and not the first time speaking but a few messages in and I’m visiting him at his place and having sexual relations half way the visit. Now I feel whore ish but at the same time it was him so I’m comfortable with the fact!!! When do I reach out to him again? When do I tell him my true feelings of him being my Happily Ever after. ? We were together in a relationship for 3 years the first time and ended because I walked away! I’ve actually walked away from him 4 times throughout our whole time knowing each other!

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