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Is Your Virgo Man Just Using You? 5 Signs He Could Be Playing You

Does it seem like the Virgo man you’re dating is a little too reserved at times? Are you finding he pulls back when you try to pull forward? Is your Virgo man just using you?

Here are some signs to look for in trying to determine if your Virgo man is just using you.

1. He Does Not Open Up

On an emotional level, a Virgo can take a very long time to open up. However, when he’s trying to get to know a woman he’ll at the very least discuss his desires or goals in life.

If you’re hanging out with a Virgo man you thought you were getting closer to and he isn’t telling you anything about him, he may be using you.

Virgo men can be really cold and cut off when he’s not interested. Virgo men don’t normally condone one night stands or flings. However, there is an exception to every rule.

His dreams and goals for life are very personal. He only talks about them to someone he wants to be in his life for a very long time, if not forever. He talks about it with family and VERY close friends but to a woman he’ talking to, he’s quiet.

If you find that he isn’t opening up about anything, especially what his life’s goals are, he’s not really with you.

He’s playing you or only into you for a layup.

2. Goes Quiet on Business Trips


If a Virgo man is not 100% committed to you, there is a real chance that he’s going to do his own thing when he’s traveling for work. So, is your Virgo man just using you? Not necessarily.

That means:

  • seeing other women;
  • having sexual interludes with co-workers;
  • perhaps, new women, he meets through the company.

It’s also possible he meets someone in a bar that is in the hotel he’s at and figures that no one may never know a thing so why not go for it. Again, Virgo isn’t typically the one-night stand type of guy but it can still happen.

It happens when he doesn’t feel that he can commit to someone or feels that the person he’s “seeing” isn’t the right person for him. He’s testing his own waters to see what he feels and enjoying the moment.

This may also include him hardly talking to you, if at all, while he is gone on business. He may tell you he’s too busy to talk or he’ll talk to you when he gets back.

Naturally, if he doesn’t talk to you when he gets back, you may as well give up on him.

3. He’s Not Talking A Whole Lot

The intelligent Virgo man loves to entertain stimulating conversations. When he’s with someone, he wants to talk about lots of things. If you find he’s being quiet or isn’t into discussing anything of importance, be wary.

There may be other reasons he’s being quiet but he shouldn’t be all of the time. He could still be hung up on someone else or he may actually be seeing someone else, therefore, doesn’t feel he needs to say much.

Of course, when he goes ice cold as far as not texting, calling, returning texts, etc, he’s probably done with you. If he reaches out after weeks of not talking, he’s probably fishing for sex.

None of these are good for you and you should continue your search for someone who can actually interact with you in life.

Trust me, when a Virgo man wants to be with you and is in love with you, he’ll put lots of effort in.

Virgo man going ice cold is the biggest indicator he is done or he’s only interested in you when he feels like it. That may mean seeing you once a week or once every other week. You may be asking yourself: is your Virgo man just using you? Not likely.

4. Craves Alone Time


All Virgo men need some “alone time”. However, if he’s seeking more and more of it, he’s trying to get away from you even if he’s not saying it. He’ll get while the getting is good and then he’ll pull away.

I’ve had numerous clients write in about their Virgo man going quiet and spending less time with them. It’s typically because the Virgo man isn’t feeling it and doesn’t think there is a future there.

He’ll go out of his way to cut ties and communication. If he still craves whatever spark was there, to begin with, he’ll go for that again when he’s lonely or feels he needs to talk to someone.

When he’s playing you, he may go quiet again and you’ll wonder if you’ll ever hear from him. This isn’t a good way to live. You should probably let go and move on with yourself. Is your Virgo man just using you? Could be.

5. Flat Out Tells you

Virgo men can sometimes be rather blunt and come off rude when they tell you that they don’t want a relationship. He may actually tell you that he doesn’t want a commitment and that he just wants to be friends.

If you’re having sex with him, this may be hard to take but you’ve got to take him at his word. He isn’t plotting anything on the side and he’s not lying to you. He’s telling you what he feels and you’d better listen.

You can get hurt if you think that a Virgo man is going to change his mind and suddenly want to be with you when he didn’t before. Sex is sex and he’ll keep doing it as long as you allow it.

When you start to pressure him to be in a relationship he doesn’t want, he may go completely silent on you. And you may never hear from him ever again.

So, is your Virgo man just using you?

Let me know in the comment section below!


Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,

Anna Kovach

15 thoughts on “Is Your Virgo Man Just Using You? 5 Signs He Could Be Playing You

  1. I have a Virgo male friend he treats me soo good I am feeling for him but I’m also holding my gaurd up too he always talks bout his goals and life to me he very y’all person he a good listing person sometimes he tlk little bit too much but he is smart I love my friend maybe this could be more but he value our friend ship

    1. Hi Jazmyn, it certainly does sound like there could be more if you want it. You need to figure out if that’s what you want and if you do, then you’re going to have to let him know that you’re interested in him. Virgo man won’t pursue a woman unless he knows that she’s into him and wants more. Once he knows that he will take that information and make the next move. Don’t be afraid to tell him you’d like to get to know him better and spend time together. Put your hand on his if you can when you say this. It lets him know you’re into him. Learn more about the Virgo man by checking out my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.

  2. Wow hey Jazmyn lol I’m Jazmyne and girl I go thru the same thing with my virgo. He told me he doesn’t want a relationship, idk if that means rn or just simply with me. But I also know that the last two times he tried with girls it didn’t work in his favor and he’s already told me how he’s looked at girls ever since. He did also mention that he doesn’t treat me like everybody else. Also we’ve been doing long distance basically since I met him. He’s in jersey I’m in Atlanta. Texting with him is terrible but when I’m with him he’s cuddling me so tight and kissing me and the last time we had sex was very very passionate. But I still get scared that he’s just using me ?

  3. I just started getting to know a virgo fella. he’s communicative, works a lot, and normally contacts me first. the first two times we hung out were nice, the last time was kind of weird tho. he told me some drama happened with his ex right before i came over and that he was tense. i told him i could leave (being that i had literally just gotten there) and he told me he wanted me to stay and that he wouldn’t invite me over if he didn’t want me there blah blah. he gave me the rundown on his ex basically, and he also kept telling me how he wanted to be honest and i did appreciate that bc he didn’t have to tell me anything to begin with. that same night we had sex for the first time and it was niceee. the next night i came over again and we cuddled until i fell asleep, but we didn’t have sex. i also woke up randomly and he was outside smoking a cig and when he came back in we were on polar opposite sides of the bed lol. i feel like it’s bc his ex is lingering in his mind, but my friends claim he probably just wants to take things slow. pls help! any virgo knowledge is greatly appreciated. also, i am a capricorn woman.

    1. elissia are you and virgo man still a thing? i’ve been with a virgo for 11 years. when we first became friends and stated talking he had ex issues as well and was honest with me about it.. of course we were friends before anything else but if you still need insight i can help there as i have lots of personal experience.

      1. Hi Cheyanne! Thanks for your wonderful input. 11 years is quite an accomplishment so you must be doing all the right things though there is always more to learn about Virgo man. Seems there is always something that comes up that cannot be predicted with them. They seem one way and then present themselves in another way at different times. They can be rather complex and confusing but learning to love them “as is” is the best thing. Learn more about Virgo man in my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.

    2. Hi Elissia! As a Capricorn woman, you can appreciate the need to take things slow. Yes, Virgo guy needs a bit of time to figure himself out and what he wants to do going forward. They do tend to analyze the heck out of everything much like Capricorn which can make their minds confused and tired at times. Give him time and be patient. As long as he’s still expressing the desire to spend time with you then you should be all clear roads ahead. Learn more about the Virgo man though so you know what to possibly expect by reading my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.

  4. I met this virgo man not too long ago, everything was great we hit it off. When we hang out there is never a dull moment we talk for hours and laugh it’s always a great time with him. When i am with him he makes me feel like there is nothing more important than me. His dad was here visiting and he even took me to hang out with him twice. Mind you he is an arab and supposedly they don’t just introduce anyone to their family. But lately i’ve been the one to always reach out first to him and just stopped to see if he would do any effort from his part. He went MIA for a whole week and didn’t even reach out to me, till just last night. He seems very distant lately. Please help, What is your advice??

    1. Hi Salome!

      It’s not uncommon for a Virgo man to go quiet for awhile if he’s really overwhelmed or busy. I doubt he meant to blow you off but still it doesn’t feel good when they have this “out of sight out of mind” mentality when they become busy with other things. You should definitely tell him that it bothers you when he goes distant for too long. Tell him you understand a couple of days but a week is too long. Hopefully he’ll try a bit harder for you going forward.

  5. I met my virgo man online, after a week intensively chatting we met and we had sex. After that he didn’t text me and when I text him he replied with a short answer. I got mad at him and he just left me, blocked my number. A week later he called me again and said sorry, ever since we get closed until we met again for the second times and the meeting involved sex. And it’s happening again, he pull me off by saying he likes me but don’t want his feeling going to far. We got fight again and didn’t talk to each other for 2 weeks then I tried to text him again. After that we started to flirt each other again but he said he’s not ready to meet me again because it always lead to fight though he said he miss me and wanna have sex with me again. How can you tell about this virgo guy? Is he using me?

    1. Hi Mia!

      It sounds like your guy is either very confused or he is just after sex without any commitment. This is one of these cases where it’s very important you trust your own intuition. You should also learn everything you can about Virgo man. My books may help you. Check out “Virgo Man Secrets” when you can. You might find some sound answers and if not, I can try to help you again.

  6. Me and my virgo man are talking for almost two years but we still haven’t seen each other. At first, we were into each other that fast but I’m still holding up my guard because of trust issues. When i already knew to myself that he not like any of my past relationships, i already gave in but he already fell out of love and it broke my heart real bad. We’ve been trying to save it that time but someone from my block had a crush on me and we kinda hang out a little. I got confused that time because my virgo man does not want to see me even if i am the one who’s making the effort he just keep on saying that he loves me but he is not showing it physically. The physical affection that i crave for my virgo man, i found it on my blockmate but what i feel that i am doing is wrong that’s why i told my blockmate that all i can offer him is just being friends. My virgo man knew about it and he got mad about it. I thought he was already done with me because he doesn’t want to show himself and fell out of love already according to what he said. After that incident, he then got a little cold and distant. I thought i was going to loose him but it turned out he still stayed. I have a feeling that he is seeing other girls than me and my instinct was right. He told me about it after his graduation. That was also the time i found out that he did not tell me his real name. All the time i thought he is being honest with me even if we are not seeing each other but i was wrong. I got hurt but still i forgive him because i thought i somehow deserve that because of what i did. After that, we are still talking and he was having some health issues that’s why he’s being distant and he was already processing his papers for his grad school in another country. He wanted to leave me to focus more on hiself but I’m holding him back. We went on like that for months, push and pull. He’ll push me away and I’ll pull him back because sometimes he’s just having some issues with himself that’s why he wanted to push me away. I found out he has a crush on someone he met from grad school who is studying law in a different school. He’s talking about it to me that he admires the girl for being intelligent and such. I have a feeling that he wanted to be with that girl but he just can’t because of me. Because he doesn’t want to make a move because he still respects what we have. He always teases me with my co-worker but i have no feeling for that person. My virgo man keeps on insisting that i like my coworker but i dont, honestly. Now, my virgo man told me that he’s going to be busy for the few weeks because of partime, grad school and he is assisting in grad school as well. I thanked him for being honest and that’s it’s okay. After a few days he hardly talks to me but i have a feeling that he is just lying to me. I am sad that he is not feeling the same way with me anymore but i am still hoping that we could build something new again.

    Ps: i still haven’t seen him physically or even in picture, still haven’t heard his voice and doesn’t know his name.

  7. So the virgo man I am having a thing with is a guy I had became quite good friends with from work. When I met him, I instantly liked him, although he isn’t like my usual type. He was really reserved, quiet, came across as very respectful with great manners. I also thought he was ridiculously good looking (the type of person who is so unaware of how good looking he is) but also thought there would be no way in hell, he would ever like me back. I don’t have great self esteem, and I’ve seen the girls he has dated – they’re like models. Anyway, I accepted that nothing would ever happen between us, and we just became good friends. Although there has always been this tension between us, he gets really nervous around me sometimes, and jumbles up his words, we would hang out every week in our social circle, and he would very rarely open up. But he would always try and find out about my personal life.

    I was with this company for a year and a half and during this time, me and him became quite close. One night we went out, and I told him he was leaving, he was quite visibly upset, and told me that he didn’t want to work in the office if I wasn’t going to be there anymore. This is the only time I have seen him express or show his emotions. So I left the company and we would see eachother obviously alot less but every now and again.

    There was a party, and it was the first time I was out with my old work friends since I have left, and he was quite drunk and made a move on me, at first I was taken back especially as I had never expected in a million years that this would happen. He doesnt come across as a very confident guy and for him to make a move on me, it was really shocking. So I politely pulled away and said we’re friends, we probably shouldnt. He apologised, but then the whole night continued on making moves on, and because I obviously have liked him for the longest time, I’d kiss him back. I was having an internal struggle with myself thinking “he’s only kissing you because he is drunk. Theres no way he would like you” So then I’d pull away. He had also been casually seeing a girl so I asked him what was happening there and he said “I’m not seeing her anymore, she is going travelling”. So I thought it was okay to kiss him then.

    After this night, we carried on like friends , just like normal. 2 weeks later, the next time I was out with him having drinks with our friends, he made another move on me, and I asked him what was going on, he told me he liked me (that was the most communication or feelings he had expressed) and we ended up kissing the whole night. He eventually tried to take me home and I was saying no, because I didnt want things to get weird and he promised they wouldn’t. So he came back to my house, I still didnt have sex with him, because I just didn’t want to go all in and get hurt, but we ended up doing other stuff.

    He then went silent after, to be fair we dont have much of a texting relationship, he would usually just comment on something I post, or interact with me in our group whatsapp chat. Then we met up 2 weeks later with some of my old work friends for drinks. And we all went back to his house for drinks after. When our friends fell asleep, he called me into his room to check out his record collection (obviously just a ploy to get me alone). He kissed me really passionately, and I knew it was going to lead somewhere so I told him if I had to choose between his friendship or sex, Ill choose the friendship and he apologised, and then maybe 5 minutes later kissed me and said he is sorry but he couldnt keep away from me, and then we went to bed, I told him we weren’t having sex, and he respected my wishes, but we did other stuff.

    So flash forward one week later, it was our friends birthday party. The night before the party I met with him and a few others and he mentioned that he was going to a concert the night of the party but he would come over after the gig finished. He was being his usual friendly self with me. It wasnt awkward or weird. So I had decided to stop being so guarded, to just accept that maybe he did like me, and I decided I was going to go for it and have sex with him if we kissed again and tell him how I feel. Then at the party the following night, he turns up with the girl that he was seeing before, the girl he told me he was no longer seeing as she was going travelling. So as you can imagine I am devastated. He didnt come and speak to me at all, the whole night even though we were in very close proximity of eachother. He ignored me, and obviously I ignored him. The girl and him, looked really couply, she was cuddled into him, kissing him, they were chatting to all of my friends, and I was really incredibly hurt.

    So a mutual friend of ours pulled him aside and asked him what was going on, why did he bring the girl to the party when he was constantly trying things on with me for the past month, and. he told me that he wasnt seeing her. He told our friend that he wasn’t that she isnt going travelling anymore so they started seeing eachother again. So our friend told him that I was upset, and really hurt by this. He told him, he didnt mean to make me feel that way. And that was it. He still carried on the night with her kissing right infront of me, and made no attempt to speak to me or apologise, or just hash things out, not even a text.

    So thats where I am at with the virgo in my life. Am I being too sensitive? I know we werent seeing eachother, but he is also my. friend, and I feel like I was being massively used and disrespected by someone who I could never imagine behaving this way, I thought he genuinely cared about me. I dont know what to do now, because I feel like I cant be around my friend group anymore as he is always there. I just feel so incredibly hurt by a friend. If he wasn’t interested in me, that’s fine, but this just felt so cold and unnecessary.

  8. I got out of a relationship not too long before I met this Virgo guy and for about a week everything was perfect he texted me back real fast wanted to hangout all the time told me he liked me in front of his friends I met his parents but but something changed he just started taking longer to respond and he stopped asking to hangout so I made the effort to ask him then he just didn’t seem like he really wanted too. We talked about our situation and he told me he likes me but doesn’t want to rush anything because I got out of a relationship but he just seems like he is pushing me away. I don’t know what to do

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