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5 Reasons Why Virgo Men Pull Away After Saying They Like You

Today we’ll talk about why Virgo men pull away. So you’ve gotten yourself involved with a gorgeous Virgo guy. He tells you how much he likes you or even sees a future with you but then suddenly goes cold and you cannot figure out what happened.

Here are some reasons why Virgo men pull away after coming on so strongly:

1. He Isn’t Totally Sure About You

Virgo men can be dreamers much like Pisces men and Scorpio men. That means that they often times start planning their future far ahead of time. As things start to change he changes his dreams.

He sometimes can do the same with his relationships. He can come on very strong; say he wants a future, say all the things he wants to do in life with you and makes it seem as though you’re the one.

Suddenly he starts to see something in you that he isn’t sure is going to meld well with him over the years and makes him pull back to think things over again. It’s not that there is something wrong with you.

It’s just that he isn’t sure if it’s something he can live with. Remember that Virgo men can be rather choosy and though they can take a long time to build a relationship; they generally know what they want.

If at any point he feels that something about you isn’t what he wants it might be a reason why Virgo men will pull away or end it. Give him some time; he’ll let you know what the case may be.

2. He Isn’t Sure About Himself

Handsome serious young Virgo man outdoors thinking - 5 Reasons Why Virgo Men Pull Away After Saying They Like You

This would mean that the Virgo man isn’t confident enough to believe that the relationship is strong enough to get past his shortcomings. He isn’t just picky about his mate but picky about himself as well.

If he isn’t sure about himself, where his life is going, or what he wants to do, he may veer off the path he started with you. This is why he takes a while to build a relationship.

It’s one of those things he has to be sure of. Again though; the dreamer side of him comes out and makes everything seem perfect and wonderful for the future. Then he realizes he jumped to fast and shuffles backward.

This is indeed one of his flaws and why Virgo men pull away. He can tend to promise too much and not really knowing if he can deliver. When he thinks about it he becomes insecure and thus is why he becomes icy toward you.

This may pass if he realizes that nothing he thinks about himself will deter you and how you feel about him.

3. Isn’t Ready for Responsibility or Commitment

It’s really that simple. Virgo men love to flirt and they love to dream about the future they could have. It’s fun for them to imagine what their lives may be like with a woman like you.

However, if he realizes that he is getting into something he’s not fully ready to invest in he will likely get cold feet and turn around. That doesn’t mean it will stay that way but until he’s truly ready, he isn’t likely to change his mind.

Virgo men will tell you if they aren’t ready for this type of commitment. If he doesn’t he’ll certainly show you in his actions which will include not returning your calls or texts.

He never means to lead anyone on but sometimes he gets away with himself with his own excitement until reality sets in and he figures out that what he dreamed isn’t reality. It freaks him out and he gets out.

4. General Fears

Virgo men tend to carry quite a bit of baggage and when they don’t know how to deal, it is why Virgo men pull away. They feel things so deeply that it’s hard for them to really move on. If he loved someone really hard before you and she ended it he’ll probably have trust issues.

There is a variety of issues he may have encountered in his last long term relationship that he’ll now carry over and have problems understanding. He may think that you will do the same to him and that scares him.

Even though he on some level realizes that you are not his ex he will still at least think it for a while until you’ve proven otherwise. You’ll have your work cut out for you if you do work at it with him.

However, if you stick it out and prove how much you’re there for him and that you’ll be good to him; he’ll eventually let his guard down and let you in. Then you’re in for a delightful treat.

You will be his gold, his prize, his end goal. There is nothing wrong with that at all if you can put up with his accusatory tones and nitpicking from time to time.

5. He’s Got a Lot on His Mind

Portrait of young couple being in a conflict in the park - 5 Reasons Why Virgo Men Pull Away After Saying They Like You

This is the simplest answer to him suddenly not texting or calling as much. Virgo men like to keep themselves busy and naturally when he is; he won’t be able to communicate as much.

Try not to let it get to you. If you know he’s going to be working overtime or that he’s got a full day planned with friends; don’t give him a hard time. Know that he’ll get back to you when he can.

It doesn’t mean that he isn’t into you or has had second thoughts. It must mean that he literally does not have time to tune in and give you all the attention you may want at that moment.

When you do have his attention again he’ll give of himself fully to you and you’ll be rewarded for letting him have a good time or for taking care of business without you fussing.

It doesn’t have to all be about fears or cold feet. Sometimes it’s just the case where he hasn’t had time to get back to you and certainly isn’t ignoring you. Click here to find out more about this sultry Virgo man.

I know that sometimes it’s hard to read a Virgo man but once you get to know him; you’ll love him. I certainly loved my Virgo guy.

Do you know why Virgo men pull away?

Share your story (or situation) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).

Wishing you all the luck of the universe

Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,

Anna Kovach



15 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why Virgo Men Pull Away After Saying They Like You

  1. I have known my Virgo guy for 24yrs. From day one there has always been a connection between us. He told me when we started dating that he feel in love with me the day he met me. He was married, I was married and the 4 of us were good friends. My ex left 5 yrs old and his wife, my girlfriend past away Aug. 2017. From Oct.- Dec my Virgo guy pursued me and I was hesitant. I questioned whether he was ready for a relationship? He insisted he was and we jumped in he was so quick to talk about buying a house together planning trips and I just thought it was because we had known each other for so long. Fast forward 7 months (July 2017) and he realizes he hasn’t finished grieving for his LW and isn’t ready for a relationship. I love this man with my whole heart and I know he loves me just as much but I understand and respect that he needs to take time. We talked/text on and off then the middle of Aug 2017 we spend a week together. There is this pull between us and yes we are again intimate ( he says he regrets that). We have a bit of a blow up and he said he is done it is over hebus never coming back! Then Nov 2017 hes back buys me a winter coat, heated mattress pad for my bed, takes me for a mini get away, invites me to Christmas with him and his LW family, a 3 day get away to Seattle and then just last weekend Jan. 2018 over for a night st my place with breakfast with his family. I Love were we are no pressure, no title, it’s always easy and comfortable we text ALL the time. I text him to say that I am happy we’re we are! If this is all he can offer I am happy as I thought just months ago I would never see him again and that thought just kills me. I know he works constantly and yes he still says Love you at night when he texts. It might just be me but he seems to have gone a bit quiet not texting as much he did however text me the other day replying hours later to my text telling my “not ignoring you”. I never even thought of it or that he would till now. Did I say something wrong to cause him to pull back or is it possible just nothing?? Not sure how to ask him or if I should just let it go

  2. I have known my Virgo guy for 24 yrs. from day 1 there has always been this connection between us. He was married and I was married…5 yrs ago my ex left and Aug. 2017 his wife my close girlfriend past away. Oct- Dec 2017 he pursued me I was hesitant asking if he was ready for a relationship he insisted he was and that he would never do anything to hurt me. Fast forward 7months both of us jumping in with both feet ( in hindsight a little too fast but I thought it was because we have known each other for so long) him talking of us buying a house, planning trip. We have this amazing chemistry and fell in love. July 2017 he realizes he has this anger because he is still grieving his LW and he isn’t ready for a relationship. Aug 2017 we spend a week together we have this pull the neither of us are able to deny and he now regrets us getting intimate again. We talk on and off via text/ phone Sept- Oct. I told him I understand that he needs space and time and however long it takes I will wait for him. Till he then says he is done, we are over and that he will never come back. Then Nov- Dec 2017 he is back. Buys me a heated mattress pad, winter coat, takes me in a mini get away Dec 2017 invites me to Christmas with him and his LW family, takes me on a weekend get away to Seattle. Jan 2018 he was just at my place for the weekend. There is no denying it we feel in love, make each other happy, have fun and have amazing chemistry. I told him that right now I know he isn’t ready for a relationship that there is no pressure I am happy we’re we are today if this is all he can offer. Because 3 months ago I thought I would never see or hear from him again. Since this conversation ( now I know he works crazy long hours and is away busy) it seems he as been a little more quiet. Yes he text me at night and say Love you. The other day I text him and he replied hours later andbthe furst thing he said was “Not ignoring you”. This never crossed my mind at the time but now I wonder if maybe I said something wrong and is he pulling away. He said he regrets us getting intimate in Aug does this mean he regrets us getting intimate the past 2 months? I want to ask but I wonder if this is just me and my girl brain as I don’t want to make something out of nothing. Did I say something wrong?? He is going away to Mexico for a month on a trip we had talked about March 2017 without me. I can’t go but I also feel he needs to do this trip.

  3. Sorry!! I told him I understand and respect that at this time he isn’t in a place to offer me anything more but that I am happy where we are today.
    We are 2 adults that have fallen in love and have strong feelings for each other, enjoy each others company, and are intimate with great chemistry/passion. There is nothing wrong with that! If this is all you are able to offer right now that is all I need. Please do not regret us getting intimate again! I don’t for 1 minute regret it and want to move forward with things the way they are. Life is too short we deserve to be happy! Why can’t we be happy, have fun and continue with the things the way they are as it works for us? I’m the voice of reason because you know I am right (when we chatted on the phone about this he said “I hate that you are the voice of reason)

  4. I understand my Virgo boyfriend. However, sometimes it gets too much.. I am Scorpio and I love to show love and affection and I am very passionate about us.

    I slow down a bit because, knowing his character, it might scare him off. So I compromise and try to keep my distance so that he will have his own space.

    But I would admit that it is kind unfair for me to always bend and comprise, as a proper relationship should be “give and take” I don’t want to be the one who always give way and understand.

    Virgo is sensitive.. but only to their feelings, not to the feelings of others.

    I am at the edge of totally breaking up with him, especially now that he has gone to cold without even telling me what’s going on.

    1. I am on the same page as you. I am a Pisces. I am the one who always gives way and understand. I hold myself back and always worry about if I am too much or too emotional or show too much affection. I get cold shoulders a lot and most of the time I don’t know what I did or didn’t do or even if it is me. Sometimes I feel it is like a one-sided relationship, I run to him and do everything to make him happy. I love him so much but I don’t know if he loves me as much. In my mind, I broke up with him several times and when I think to tell him how I feel that I can’t do this anymore, that I need more from him to know that he cares, his sweet side comes out and I forget about everything for a second. Then everything goes back to cold and cold and cold and a splash of ho.

      1. Hi Chris, Just as I mentioned to Angel, communication is a HUGE game changer. Virgo man needs you, to tell the truth otherwise he’s not going to really realize your side of the problem or relationship. It doesn’t have to be one-sided. Talk to him and tell him what the issues are and what you suggest happens next for things to change for the better. He may not like it but he will listen and he will let it sink in with time. If he truly loves you, he’ll do what he has to. Learn more about Virgo man in my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.

    2. Hi Angel! Virgo men can be complicated and frustrating for sure. The thing to remember with them is that you’ve got to be upfront and honest with them at all times. If there is a problem or issue, tell him. Don’t wait and hope he’ll figure it out or just know what you’re feeling. They’re rather oblivious because they’re in their own head much of the time. They’re a lot more stressed out than you would imagine. So before you break up with him, try to really talk to him and tell him what the issues or problems are and give him a chance to make a change. If he doesn’t proceed with how you think you should make yourself happier. You might want to learn a bit more about him by reading “Virgo Man Secrets”

  5. The Virgo I have been dating for 2 months has just disappeared. He won’t reply to my messages and doesn’t text me at all.

    It was only last week that we spent nye together and had a brilliant night. Prior he was messaging me every day and making plans.

    I’ve messaged asking if he wants to talk and he has ignored the message. It has been one week now.

    I’m lost at what to do. Any suggestions?

    1. Hi S!

      It would seem that either something happened in his own life that he doesn’t want to talk about because it’s too stressful OR there was something said between the two of you that he doesn’t like. He may be trying to process any number of things which makes him go quiet. I would try him again with a simple text such as “Hey there, hope you’re doing well. Would love to hear back from you”. It’s letting him know you’re thinking of him and giving him the idea that he should reach out without pressure. If he still doesn’t get back to you then he must have decided to walk away for whatever reason. I’m sorry honey. I hope he answers you.

  6. Hello! I am Pisces & my Virgo boyfriend & I broke up two weeks ago. we had no communication up until a couple days ago when I reached out to give him his things back. When I went over to his place to exchange our belongings we agreed we shouldn’t be dating right now. He expressed he still has feelings for me he just isn’t capable of being in a relationship right now. I know we broke up because he has commitment issues, doesn’t trust anyone & feels lost in life right now. After discussing our relationship we both agreed we still wanted to be apart of each others lives , & then he pulled me in for a hug but kissed me. Things escalated and we got lost in all the chemistry. NOW…I feel torn. Here’s this man that I care so much about but can’t date, he still had feelings for me too. so do we slowly work on a relationship again? friends with benefits? completely drop him? I feel lost. I know that the connection we have is infectious , how do I keep him wanting me & drop all his fears of commitment? any insight is greatly appreciated !!

    1. Hi Brooklyn Flynn!

      Thank you for writing in. I would NOT do friends with benefits as that rarely turns out in the woman’s favor. It’s selling out and he won’t respect it. I would stay friends with him but don’t have sex again otherwise he’ll come to expect it. Try staying in each others lives as you suggested and give him time to work on the things he needs to. Perhaps after awhile he’ll feel better about things then you two can try again. His fears are his own and he has to work on those for himself. He knows this and that’s why he said he can’t do a relationship. Hang in there darling!

  7. Hi
    Long story short: my Virgo was in love with me and after 2 years of intense dating we had a fight and he broke up. After several months we started dating again and things became steamy. We have slept several times and he started to share very personal stuff such as his fears so it all were going well in my opinion…
    After last incredible date he just disappeared and I don’t want to initiate as I always do. I want him to come back but I am tired of his mixed signals – one day he is all over me and then next day he completely disappears not thinking about my feelings.
    Is it typical for Virgos?
    Thank you

    1. Hi Christina!

      Yes it’s typical if they really like you and are terrified of being hurt. He may very well be testing you to see if you’re going to stick around or not and one way is by seeing if you’ll reach out to him. If you want to keep him then I suggest you do that. You don’t have to always do it but if you allow too much silence to go by without either of you saying anything, he’ll think you’ve lost interest in him and he’ll just go ahead and consider the chapter closed. Don’t let that happen. Reach out and then let him know it would be nice if he were to meet you halfway with the initiating contact. That way he gets what you want and can try to work toward it.

  8. Hi Anna..I, too, just experienced a bit of heartache two days ago. I have been getting to know (dating) a virgo guy (born sept 12,1989). At first, he made various moves to do activities with me, he even asked I wanted to start dating him, I said yes. He was very communicative, which I liked because as a gemini woman I love good and understanding communication. But then last week all of a sudden he started acting distant.. I remembered just simply asking him what his intentions were with me for now and the future and what he thinks of me so far (cause at some point you do have to ask this question, in my opinion), and I remember him not really saying anything, he just mentioned that I was a cool girl and that he was just cautious, but not really expressing anything else. He was rather quiet. And from then on I sensed his distancing (yeah, I sense things immediately, especially someone changes)… although his texting was always short and not affectionate, always casual, we communicated well (it flowed well) before. He was never too affectionate, would sometimes only put his hand on my thigh and hold my hand or kiss me… and then two days ago I told him I wanted to see him with a smiling emoji. He told me yeah it was fine, cause we needed to talk. And I knew that this will happen… he told me it wasn’t me that was the issue but the issue was him. He told me he didn’t feel it although he tried to. And at the end he didn’t want to keep forcing things. All I can remember was that I never pressured him into anything. I always asked first, if it was a no then its no, and if it was a yes, then yes. But no pressures at all..I feel so weird and sad.

    1. Hi Kathleen!

      I’m so sorry you had some heartache occurring with your Virgo man. It sounds like he’s trying to be as honest with you as he can so that you don’t get even more hurt later on down the line because he cannot make himself feel something he doesn’t already feel. I believe him. I don’t think it was you causing any problem. I think it IS him and his own issues darling. It’s better he did this now instead of later when you’d be more attached or in love. Keep your heart open because someone else is going to come along and give you all you deserve in life!

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