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5 Reasons Why Virgo Men Pull Away After Saying They Like You

Today we’ll talk about why Virgo men pull away. So you’ve gotten yourself involved with a gorgeous Virgo guy. He tells you how much he likes you or even sees a future with you but then suddenly goes cold and you cannot figure out what happened.

Here are some reasons why Virgo men pull away after coming on so strongly:

1. He Isn’t Totally Sure About You

Virgo men can be dreamers much like Pisces men and Scorpio men. That means that they often times start planning their future far ahead of time. As things start to change he changes his dreams.

He sometimes can do the same with his relationships. He can come on very strong; say he wants a future, say all the things he wants to do in life with you and makes it seem as though you’re the one.

Suddenly he starts to see something in you that he isn’t sure is going to meld well with him over the years and makes him pull back to think things over again. It’s not that there is something wrong with you.

It’s just that he isn’t sure if it’s something he can live with. Remember that Virgo men can be rather choosy and though they can take a long time to build a relationship; they generally know what they want.

If at any point he feels that something about you isn’t what he wants it might be a reason why Virgo men will pull away or end it. Give him some time; he’ll let you know what the case may be.

2. He Isn’t Sure About Himself

Handsome serious young Virgo man outdoors thinking - 5 Reasons Why Virgo Men Pull Away After Saying They Like You

This would mean that the Virgo man isn’t confident enough to believe that the relationship is strong enough to get past his shortcomings. He isn’t just picky about his mate but picky about himself as well.

If he isn’t sure about himself, where his life is going, or what he wants to do, he may veer off the path he started with you. This is why he takes a while to build a relationship.

It’s one of those things he has to be sure of. Again though; the dreamer side of him comes out and makes everything seem perfect and wonderful for the future. Then he realizes he jumped to fast and shuffles backward.

This is indeed one of his flaws and why Virgo men pull away. He can tend to promise too much and not really knowing if he can deliver. When he thinks about it he becomes insecure and thus is why he becomes icy toward you.

This may pass if he realizes that nothing he thinks about himself will deter you and how you feel about him.

3. Isn’t Ready for Responsibility or Commitment

It’s really that simple. Virgo men love to flirt and they love to dream about the future they could have. It’s fun for them to imagine what their lives may be like with a woman like you.

However, if he realizes that he is getting into something he’s not fully ready to invest in he will likely get cold feet and turn around. That doesn’t mean it will stay that way but until he’s truly ready, he isn’t likely to change his mind.

Virgo men will tell you if they aren’t ready for this type of commitment. If he doesn’t he’ll certainly show you in his actions which will include not returning your calls or texts.

He never means to lead anyone on but sometimes he gets away with himself with his own excitement until reality sets in and he figures out that what he dreamed isn’t reality. It freaks him out and he gets out.

4. General Fears

Virgo men tend to carry quite a bit of baggage and when they don’t know how to deal, it is why Virgo men pull away. They feel things so deeply that it’s hard for them to really move on. If he loved someone really hard before you and she ended it he’ll probably have trust issues.

There is a variety of issues he may have encountered in his last long term relationship that he’ll now carry over and have problems understanding. He may think that you will do the same to him and that scares him.

Even though he on some level realizes that you are not his ex he will still at least think it for a while until you’ve proven otherwise. You’ll have your work cut out for you if you do work at it with him.

However, if you stick it out and prove how much you’re there for him and that you’ll be good to him; he’ll eventually let his guard down and let you in. Then you’re in for a delightful treat.

You will be his gold, his prize, his end goal. There is nothing wrong with that at all if you can put up with his accusatory tones and nitpicking from time to time.

5. He’s Got a Lot on His Mind

Portrait of young couple being in a conflict in the park - 5 Reasons Why Virgo Men Pull Away After Saying They Like You

This is the simplest answer to him suddenly not texting or calling as much. Virgo men like to keep themselves busy and naturally when he is; he won’t be able to communicate as much.

Try not to let it get to you. If you know he’s going to be working overtime or that he’s got a full day planned with friends; don’t give him a hard time. Know that he’ll get back to you when he can.

It doesn’t mean that he isn’t into you or has had second thoughts. It must mean that he literally does not have time to tune in and give you all the attention you may want at that moment.

When you do have his attention again he’ll give of himself fully to you and you’ll be rewarded for letting him have a good time or for taking care of business without you fussing.

It doesn’t have to all be about fears or cold feet. Sometimes it’s just the case where he hasn’t had time to get back to you and certainly isn’t ignoring you. Click here to find out more about this sultry Virgo man.

I know that sometimes it’s hard to read a Virgo man but once you get to know him; you’ll love him. I certainly loved my Virgo guy.

Do you know why Virgo men pull away?

Share your story (or situation) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).

Wishing you all the luck of the universe

Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,

Anna Kovach



44 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why Virgo Men Pull Away After Saying They Like You

  1. I have known my Virgo guy for 24yrs. From day one there has always been a connection between us. He told me when we started dating that he feel in love with me the day he met me. He was married, I was married and the 4 of us were good friends. My ex left 5 yrs old and his wife, my girlfriend past away Aug. 2017. From Oct.- Dec my Virgo guy pursued me and I was hesitant. I questioned whether he was ready for a relationship? He insisted he was and we jumped in he was so quick to talk about buying a house together planning trips and I just thought it was because we had known each other for so long. Fast forward 7 months (July 2017) and he realizes he hasn’t finished grieving for his LW and isn’t ready for a relationship. I love this man with my whole heart and I know he loves me just as much but I understand and respect that he needs to take time. We talked/text on and off then the middle of Aug 2017 we spend a week together. There is this pull between us and yes we are again intimate ( he says he regrets that). We have a bit of a blow up and he said he is done it is over hebus never coming back! Then Nov 2017 hes back buys me a winter coat, heated mattress pad for my bed, takes me for a mini get away, invites me to Christmas with him and his LW family, a 3 day get away to Seattle and then just last weekend Jan. 2018 over for a night st my place with breakfast with his family. I Love were we are no pressure, no title, it’s always easy and comfortable we text ALL the time. I text him to say that I am happy we’re we are! If this is all he can offer I am happy as I thought just months ago I would never see him again and that thought just kills me. I know he works constantly and yes he still says Love you at night when he texts. It might just be me but he seems to have gone a bit quiet not texting as much he did however text me the other day replying hours later to my text telling my “not ignoring you”. I never even thought of it or that he would till now. Did I say something wrong to cause him to pull back or is it possible just nothing?? Not sure how to ask him or if I should just let it go

  2. I have known my Virgo guy for 24 yrs. from day 1 there has always been this connection between us. He was married and I was married…5 yrs ago my ex left and Aug. 2017 his wife my close girlfriend past away. Oct- Dec 2017 he pursued me I was hesitant asking if he was ready for a relationship he insisted he was and that he would never do anything to hurt me. Fast forward 7months both of us jumping in with both feet ( in hindsight a little too fast but I thought it was because we have known each other for so long) him talking of us buying a house, planning trip. We have this amazing chemistry and fell in love. July 2017 he realizes he has this anger because he is still grieving his LW and he isn’t ready for a relationship. Aug 2017 we spend a week together we have this pull the neither of us are able to deny and he now regrets us getting intimate again. We talk on and off via text/ phone Sept- Oct. I told him I understand that he needs space and time and however long it takes I will wait for him. Till he then says he is done, we are over and that he will never come back. Then Nov- Dec 2017 he is back. Buys me a heated mattress pad, winter coat, takes me in a mini get away Dec 2017 invites me to Christmas with him and his LW family, takes me on a weekend get away to Seattle. Jan 2018 he was just at my place for the weekend. There is no denying it we feel in love, make each other happy, have fun and have amazing chemistry. I told him that right now I know he isn’t ready for a relationship that there is no pressure I am happy we’re we are today if this is all he can offer. Because 3 months ago I thought I would never see or hear from him again. Since this conversation ( now I know he works crazy long hours and is away busy) it seems he as been a little more quiet. Yes he text me at night and say Love you. The other day I text him and he replied hours later andbthe furst thing he said was “Not ignoring you”. This never crossed my mind at the time but now I wonder if maybe I said something wrong and is he pulling away. He said he regrets us getting intimate in Aug does this mean he regrets us getting intimate the past 2 months? I want to ask but I wonder if this is just me and my girl brain as I don’t want to make something out of nothing. Did I say something wrong?? He is going away to Mexico for a month on a trip we had talked about March 2017 without me. I can’t go but I also feel he needs to do this trip.

  3. Sorry!! I told him I understand and respect that at this time he isn’t in a place to offer me anything more but that I am happy where we are today.
    We are 2 adults that have fallen in love and have strong feelings for each other, enjoy each others company, and are intimate with great chemistry/passion. There is nothing wrong with that! If this is all you are able to offer right now that is all I need. Please do not regret us getting intimate again! I don’t for 1 minute regret it and want to move forward with things the way they are. Life is too short we deserve to be happy! Why can’t we be happy, have fun and continue with the things the way they are as it works for us? I’m the voice of reason because you know I am right (when we chatted on the phone about this he said “I hate that you are the voice of reason)

  4. I understand my Virgo boyfriend. However, sometimes it gets too much.. I am Scorpio and I love to show love and affection and I am very passionate about us.

    I slow down a bit because, knowing his character, it might scare him off. So I compromise and try to keep my distance so that he will have his own space.

    But I would admit that it is kind unfair for me to always bend and comprise, as a proper relationship should be “give and take” I don’t want to be the one who always give way and understand.

    Virgo is sensitive.. but only to their feelings, not to the feelings of others.

    I am at the edge of totally breaking up with him, especially now that he has gone to cold without even telling me what’s going on.

    1. I am on the same page as you. I am a Pisces. I am the one who always gives way and understand. I hold myself back and always worry about if I am too much or too emotional or show too much affection. I get cold shoulders a lot and most of the time I don’t know what I did or didn’t do or even if it is me. Sometimes I feel it is like a one-sided relationship, I run to him and do everything to make him happy. I love him so much but I don’t know if he loves me as much. In my mind, I broke up with him several times and when I think to tell him how I feel that I can’t do this anymore, that I need more from him to know that he cares, his sweet side comes out and I forget about everything for a second. Then everything goes back to cold and cold and cold and a splash of ho.

      1. Hi Chris, Just as I mentioned to Angel, communication is a HUGE game changer. Virgo man needs you, to tell the truth otherwise he’s not going to really realize your side of the problem or relationship. It doesn’t have to be one-sided. Talk to him and tell him what the issues are and what you suggest happens next for things to change for the better. He may not like it but he will listen and he will let it sink in with time. If he truly loves you, he’ll do what he has to. Learn more about Virgo man in my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.

    2. Hi Angel! Virgo men can be complicated and frustrating for sure. The thing to remember with them is that you’ve got to be upfront and honest with them at all times. If there is a problem or issue, tell him. Don’t wait and hope he’ll figure it out or just know what you’re feeling. They’re rather oblivious because they’re in their own head much of the time. They’re a lot more stressed out than you would imagine. So before you break up with him, try to really talk to him and tell him what the issues or problems are and give him a chance to make a change. If he doesn’t proceed with how you think you should make yourself happier. You might want to learn a bit more about him by reading “Virgo Man Secrets”

  5. The Virgo I have been dating for 2 months has just disappeared. He won’t reply to my messages and doesn’t text me at all.

    It was only last week that we spent nye together and had a brilliant night. Prior he was messaging me every day and making plans.

    I’ve messaged asking if he wants to talk and he has ignored the message. It has been one week now.

    I’m lost at what to do. Any suggestions?

    1. Hi S!

      It would seem that either something happened in his own life that he doesn’t want to talk about because it’s too stressful OR there was something said between the two of you that he doesn’t like. He may be trying to process any number of things which makes him go quiet. I would try him again with a simple text such as “Hey there, hope you’re doing well. Would love to hear back from you”. It’s letting him know you’re thinking of him and giving him the idea that he should reach out without pressure. If he still doesn’t get back to you then he must have decided to walk away for whatever reason. I’m sorry honey. I hope he answers you.

  6. Hello! I am Pisces & my Virgo boyfriend & I broke up two weeks ago. we had no communication up until a couple days ago when I reached out to give him his things back. When I went over to his place to exchange our belongings we agreed we shouldn’t be dating right now. He expressed he still has feelings for me he just isn’t capable of being in a relationship right now. I know we broke up because he has commitment issues, doesn’t trust anyone & feels lost in life right now. After discussing our relationship we both agreed we still wanted to be apart of each others lives , & then he pulled me in for a hug but kissed me. Things escalated and we got lost in all the chemistry. NOW…I feel torn. Here’s this man that I care so much about but can’t date, he still had feelings for me too. so do we slowly work on a relationship again? friends with benefits? completely drop him? I feel lost. I know that the connection we have is infectious , how do I keep him wanting me & drop all his fears of commitment? any insight is greatly appreciated !!

    1. Hi Brooklyn Flynn!

      Thank you for writing in. I would NOT do friends with benefits as that rarely turns out in the woman’s favor. It’s selling out and he won’t respect it. I would stay friends with him but don’t have sex again otherwise he’ll come to expect it. Try staying in each others lives as you suggested and give him time to work on the things he needs to. Perhaps after awhile he’ll feel better about things then you two can try again. His fears are his own and he has to work on those for himself. He knows this and that’s why he said he can’t do a relationship. Hang in there darling!

  7. Hi
    Long story short: my Virgo was in love with me and after 2 years of intense dating we had a fight and he broke up. After several months we started dating again and things became steamy. We have slept several times and he started to share very personal stuff such as his fears so it all were going well in my opinion…
    After last incredible date he just disappeared and I don’t want to initiate as I always do. I want him to come back but I am tired of his mixed signals – one day he is all over me and then next day he completely disappears not thinking about my feelings.
    Is it typical for Virgos?
    Thank you

    1. Hi Christina!

      Yes it’s typical if they really like you and are terrified of being hurt. He may very well be testing you to see if you’re going to stick around or not and one way is by seeing if you’ll reach out to him. If you want to keep him then I suggest you do that. You don’t have to always do it but if you allow too much silence to go by without either of you saying anything, he’ll think you’ve lost interest in him and he’ll just go ahead and consider the chapter closed. Don’t let that happen. Reach out and then let him know it would be nice if he were to meet you halfway with the initiating contact. That way he gets what you want and can try to work toward it.

  8. Hi Anna..I, too, just experienced a bit of heartache two days ago. I have been getting to know (dating) a virgo guy (born sept 12,1989). At first, he made various moves to do activities with me, he even asked I wanted to start dating him, I said yes. He was very communicative, which I liked because as a gemini woman I love good and understanding communication. But then last week all of a sudden he started acting distant.. I remembered just simply asking him what his intentions were with me for now and the future and what he thinks of me so far (cause at some point you do have to ask this question, in my opinion), and I remember him not really saying anything, he just mentioned that I was a cool girl and that he was just cautious, but not really expressing anything else. He was rather quiet. And from then on I sensed his distancing (yeah, I sense things immediately, especially someone changes)… although his texting was always short and not affectionate, always casual, we communicated well (it flowed well) before. He was never too affectionate, would sometimes only put his hand on my thigh and hold my hand or kiss me… and then two days ago I told him I wanted to see him with a smiling emoji. He told me yeah it was fine, cause we needed to talk. And I knew that this will happen… he told me it wasn’t me that was the issue but the issue was him. He told me he didn’t feel it although he tried to. And at the end he didn’t want to keep forcing things. All I can remember was that I never pressured him into anything. I always asked first, if it was a no then its no, and if it was a yes, then yes. But no pressures at all..I feel so weird and sad.

    1. Hi Kathleen!

      I’m so sorry you had some heartache occurring with your Virgo man. It sounds like he’s trying to be as honest with you as he can so that you don’t get even more hurt later on down the line because he cannot make himself feel something he doesn’t already feel. I believe him. I don’t think it was you causing any problem. I think it IS him and his own issues darling. It’s better he did this now instead of later when you’d be more attached or in love. Keep your heart open because someone else is going to come along and give you all you deserve in life!

  9. Hi Kathleen

    I just started talking to my Virgo man a month ago I’m a Pisces. I approached him because we live near each other but we just never spoke to one another. One day I texted him and we just hit it off from there. He texted me so much, he was asking when will he see me and everything. We meet up a lot he even kissed me so passionately and talked about marriage and opened up to me about personal things. We have very deep conversations and everything. Now like 3-4 weeks in his behavior completely changed. He went 20 hours without texting me one day. He stood me up a few times and he doesn’t even call me anymore. I saw him one day we were suppose to meet up and he look like he saw a ghost. He gave me a hug and asked me if I ate and I said no so he ended up buying us both food. He said he wanted to go home to eat and that he would call me when he finished. He never called and he had me waiting for him for hours. I told him how I felt and he told me he fell asleep and that he was sorry. And then he said I looked pretty that day. Today he told me he not ready for a relationship. He said the reason isn’t just communication it’s also because he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend he was just focusing on himself but then I came along. And that he really likes me though. And I told him I understand why he so distant now and the reason I try to meet up with him and text him so much because I think by him not texting me and seeing me will make him lose interest in me. And he told me that he likes me and that him not texting me or talking to me won’t make him lose feelings for me. And he also added that I’m right He does need to do better On his behalf and meet up more to see me. So please give me some advice. How do I handle him? What do I do? What do you think his agenda is? Help me please!

    1. Hi Vanitee!

      I don’t see 20 hours with no contact as a really big deal. Virgo men do like time to themselves sometimes and if he goes a day or two without calling, you shouldn’t panic. It sounds like he already knows what his shortcomings are and is trying to work on them. I don’t see what the problem is? He’s young and so are you. You two are bound to make a mistake or 10. As long as you two talk and keep it open, you’ll be fine. It’s when you bottle things up and don’t discuss it is when problems occur. Keep talking to him and it will be alright. If you need more information, please read my book “Virgo Man Secrets”.

  10. This is my first Virgo guy by the way he’s 21 and I’m 19 he told me he wants to be married within the next 2-3 years of being in a relationship but doesn’t want a relationship. Virgo men are confusing. Please help me.

  11. We just started seeing each other. Two dates in and one amazing night together where we connected on many levels. He said he likes me a lot and that this is real. Then he got distant. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he’s going through a depressive episode and he’s in a really dark place. He promised me he wasn’t going to ghost me or anything and he promised me he’d talk to me about it when he got through it. I really like this man and he’s definitely the first guy I’ve dated in a long time that has been so genuine and honest and caring with me. I’m giving him space and time to heal but this does not help my Capricorn self capricornin!

    1. Hi Colby!

      He’s going to take it very slowly even if he likes you a lot. He doesn’t want to rush in and so this can cause him to seem cold or uninterested. If he’s in a dark place then he means it. He isn’t making it up. You’ll have to give him the time to get himself together. If he promised not to ghost you then he means that too honey. It should be fine and you can stay optimistic about him. If you need more answers, please check out my series “Virgo Man Secrets” books.

  12. I am in quite a confusing situation with a virgo man and i am a cancer woman (both 23). We met about 5 months ago on a dating site and hit it off effortlessly. Since then, we have been texting every day. Now, he lives in the same town at me, but he goes away to college about 5 hours away, so when we first started texting each other we were long distance. But still, he texted me every single day, very much all day, without ever meeting me in person. 2 months into texting and never meeting, he comes home and we finally met for the first time. We had the absolute best time, effortless conversations, effortless movement, effortless everything (only red flag was he talked about his ex, compared me to her -in positive ways, like that makes it better- said he was really hurt by her but ended the conversation with a dismissive “im over it though”, and then left to go to the bathroom after talking about her bc, “he needed time alone to be sad”). Anyway, after that hangout that day, we kept texting a few days after like normal, but suddenly he stopped talking to me – this lasting for 5 days. Eventually, he came back and texted me like no time had passed at all (even though through all those 5 days I was extremely hurt and confused). After then, the next 3 months of our relationship remained texting long distance. Through this time though we really really got to know each other- we talked about so many things i cant even recall, he told me his deep family problems, he started to ask me about my future plans, he asked about my deepest secrets, he was constantly asking things that would relate to wanting to know how my mind works, and his favorite word is definitely “why is that”. He even gradually started telling me he loves me. He sent “ily” at first, then maybe 2 weeks later said “love you” then about a month and a half later said the full “i love you” and now he has said that full i love you twice. With him being so loving, during this 3 month texting not seeing each other time though, I did however start to notice that when he would do this, immediately after (or very soon after) he would go very cold. I started to find myself in a cycle of him being extremely affectionate and then pulling away every 2 weeks or so. Always coming back hotter than before, but then also getting way colder than before. But nonetheless, always coming back to that hot and then hotter side eventually. -All this time long distance texting I figured he would come home and we would start dating though. He would always say he missed me or he couldnt wait to see me or he couldnt wait to hug me or stuff like that. And he always would call me his favorite girl, or say im his, or things possessive in nature and I could just tell he liked me so much- and i know he told his friends he stopped “being a hoe” and he stopped being active on any dating site. Anyway, Fast forward a little bit (3 months later), and he finally came home from school for christmas. I was so so excited, he made me so excited. I saw him the first day he came back and again we just had the best best best time. He never stopped complimenting me like he did texting me and he never stopped saying “thats my girl” or things like that. Then, one day, I was supposed to come over his house but he got a little busy and it got kind of late so i just said no, but he asked me if he could at least call me- which, oddly enough was something we had never done before and something i took as extremely affectionate just bc i know he moves slower in love than a literal snail on sticky paper. That night though we talked on the phone for 4 hours and we fell asleep on the phone together (cute). The next day I asked him if i could come over like we had planned for the previous day or if he had plans already and he said, “honestly im not sure yet, but i’ll let you know!!!” to which he never did (Yes, i love these cold cycles!!). When he didnt let me know i let him have his space and we texted like always for a few days after but eventually i got fed up with not seeing him and asked him why that was and why i felt like he can make a plan with anyone else except me (mind you, he is only home from school for a little over 2 weeks). And his answer to that was, “you just want me for sex” (which is a thing he has said to me before- which couldnt be more opposite and i always tell him that!!!) So i explained to him thats not true again and he said, “i know (confusing right? you just said the complete opposite), but if we’re just chilling or hanging out im gonna want to have sex and i dont want to use you or take advantage of you and i guess kinda the only way i can do that is to just not see you.” so i said “does that mean youre confused if you actually like me for me” (because to me that sounds like this whole time he was confusing love for lust) but he said “No i like you for you doofus. im just not like looking for anything.” …Right when i read that I wanted to tear my face off- you like me? but cant see me? That was so confusing. All i said back was, “what do you mean?” bc honestly if youre gonna text me every single day for 5 months, talking the way you did and telling me you love me and literally giving me every other sign that says the complete opposite of what you literally just said youre gonna need to be a little more clear… He, though, ignored that “what do you mean?” message and in the morning texted me as if nothing had happened and like he didnt just say he wasnt looking for anything 16 hours before. I was mad so i didnt reply in the morning for quite a few hours and he eventually texted me again without me ever saying anything back with, “okay sick, ghost me”. That threw me for a complete loop- now hes mad or worried im gone? I gave him a bs excuse and told him i was just busy with work and he said “its okay 🙁 i understand!!“ After that we continued texting like normal as always, but i still never saw him and now hes back at school. We still text everyday, nearly all day like always, almost the same type of affection and everything, but i just hate how confusing he is. I have been on this terrible, terrible hot and cold roller coaster for so long and im kind of over it. When this man is hot its amazing and beautiful, but when he’s cold it is so very annoying. I can tell he’s scared of love, but i just want to know why. I can’t tell if im wasting my time and he will never come around and be that hot self totally or if i should just give up. I want to be patient bc really i have never felt like this for a person before, i have never felt like i met someone so perfectly compatible with me- With other people I have always felt like I was making a slight compromise in some kind of trait, but with him everything is just how i would want it- i wouldnt dare call him perfect, but really i could call him perfect on paper. Everything i want is there, but this hot and coldness needs to gracefully go. I don’t even know when i will see him again in person- technically he should be home from school in May, but i dont know anything. From a love stand point, logically, i know he cant handle seeing me in person bc hes scared of falling in love and so texting feels safe to him, but i just get worried that that will always be how it is. I don’t want to waste time on something that is empty, i want a real commitment. I just want to know if i’m pursuing something that is not worth pursuing? And why he is so hot and cold all the time 🙁

    1. Hi Kinsley!

      Virgo men are hard nuts to crack. If he hasn’t told you why he has fears about love it’s for a reason. Virgo men are very private and unless he’s 100% sure you’re the one he wants to be with then he’s not going to be very open. My best friend is married to a Virgo man and she’s still finding to things about him from him. She’s been with him for 3 1/2 yrs. It’s a long discovery process with them. It takes lots of patience and loyalty over time. He is a bit moody sometimes and it causes him to close off to the world. It’s nothing unusual. I will say this though, you’re going to have to speak up or ask him questions or he’s going to have no idea what your deal is or what is going on. Be forthright with him and tell him what you wan as well as what you feel for him.

  13. Hi.
    I have small question. I date a Virgo man, which I know about a year, when we meet we both where unhappy with our marriage life’s. We become really good friends. Around Christmas we both have divorce.
    He start showing me attraction everything went to dating and all that. All the time was amazing. A week ago he pushed me away. Because some black cloud start pushing him, he started struggling with money and somehow decided that he’s afraid that I gonna hurt him he start stressing about everything or feeling terrible… I was there for him, but he still decided to push me away saying that he’s not feeling anything and don’t need me… After few days he came to me and start asking to be there for him till he fix his life, to be his friend. And he is not ready for serious relationship. And he wanna be my friend and see how life will put everything.. And in the same time he afraid to lose me..
    I have no idea what to do. One day he don’t feel anything, other day he don’t wanna lose me… What should I do? 😔

    1. Hi Ausra!

      Ah yes, Virgo men are plagued with thinking the worst and letting stress overwhelm them. They make mountains of out of hills. The problems are always not as bad as he thinks they are. They overreact and cause themselves to lose control of themselves. He does need a stable partner that will prove to be there again and again for him. If you can be that partner then you’ve got to step up. Yes, his moods will be unpredictable but if you love him, you love him despite his flaws. It’s unconditional love. If you don’t feel that way then you need to let go of him and move on. It’s your choice honey. Check out my Virgo man books for more information.

  14. All I know is, I’m done with Virgo men. As a Pisces woman, I first tried to date 2 Virgo men. One was stand-offish from the jump but eventually let me in at arm’s length only to push me away again. Another, never truly let me in and I believe he had that old girlfriend baggage this article spoke about…I saw it right away when he talked about her often so I ended that before it could even start. After those two and knowing other Virgo male friends, I swore I would never date another one. Well, my bff decided to hook me up with one of her boyfriend’s friends…tahdah, a Virgo. I was reluctant given my experience but I gave it a shot. Pisces, we are the most intuitive of the zodiac but our biggest downfall is not listening to our intuition. We instantly clicked. He literally fawned over my pictures before even meeting me. Once he met me, he told me I was his one. He swept me off me feet by showering me with adoration, constant affection and like this article said, talking about our future. These are heavenly things for a Piscean woman to experience. We dated for 2 months before he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and I was all in. Well, 15 days after we committed, he had an abrupt change of heart and snatched the heavenly rug from beneath my feet. Bad part is, after his change of heart, he still wanted to call/text to say he misses me and wants to see me, but would never make good on any of it. Like, I just didn’t understand it. If he didn’t want to be with me anymore, then fine. But why keep calling/texting with the mind games? I finally had to cease all contact because my heart couldn’t keep taking him setting me up for downfalls. One thing I knew going in, Virgo men are notoriously known for crafty lies. Like, grandiose unnecessary lies. I playfully mentioned this in the beginning and he swore he wasn’t that kind of Virgo…see, he was lying right there. I caught him in lies he doesn’t even know I caught him in. It still hurts but I don’t know who to be more mad at…him for breaking my heart or myself for not listening to my intuition. Moral of this story, if you don’t want your precious loving heart broken…STAY AWAY from these erratic, cold, fickle, lying VIRGO MEN!!!

    1. Hi Shansational!

      Uh oh… sorry you had such a difficult time with a Virgo man. I need to tell you though that everyone has all 12 signs in their birth charts. That means you have Virgo in your own chart and it depends on where it is that will tell you more information. I understand how frustrated you were/are. Don’t write them all off though darling. He may have a moon sign or rising sign that made him more of a hassle and heartbreaker. Check out my books on Virgo Man Secrets to learn the truth behind these men.

    2. “Pisces, we are the most intuitive of the zodiac but our biggest downfall is not listening to our intuition.”

      – When I read this, as a Pisces, all I could do was smh🤦🏼‍♀️ This is my entire life story in a nutshell.

  15. Hello!
    A month and a half ago I met an Aries Sun/Virgo Moon/Aquarius Rising/Aries Merc, Venus, Mars. I’m a Pisces sun/Sag Moon/Taurus Rising/Aqua Merc, Venus/Scorp Mars.
    We hit it off really well. Instantly went to each other’s homes, watched movies, cooked, read astrology, talked for hours, went on walks. Then the last time at his place the vibe was totally off. Like his whole demeanor was not engaging and I felt like he was waiting for me to leave. We were talking about lucid dreaming and he mentioned a a recurring sex dream which was totally out of left field for him. I kind of took it as a way for him to “scare me off”. Shortly after I gathered my things to leave. There was no hug goodbye.
    The next day he said he was slipping into a depressed state due to being on workers comp for his back and doing PT. He wasn’t deriving his sense of fulfillment from accomplishing woodworking tasks from his job anymore (his home is immaculate with impeccable attention to detail btw, every single aspect has been remodeled and all he has left are cabinets, which he wasn’t working on due to his back).
    Though I wasn’t sure if this was just a ploy to push me away or scare me off, I was very empathetic and communicated that to him. Saying I understand as I’ve been in similar situations and I usually take time out to myself. I told him I was here for him if he needed anything. We didn’t speak for a week. Then we awkwardly “matched” again in the same dating app we first met from.
    We started texting again. I thought he ghosted me, he said he texted last, I said I thought he needed space because of being depressed, he said I assumed he needed space but he never said he did. Additionally it came out that he had a foot fetish (yay for this Pisces 🙂
    We hung out one more time, 2 weeks later, at a park, my suggestion. We walked around and talked. I noticed him checking out, blatantly, another woman in front of me. Fine, I didn’t let on to it in anyway, but this was a red flag for me to back off.
    Though he then tried to teach me how to ride his long board and held my hand the whole time in the parking lot while I rode it. Afterwards we got back to our cars, I held my arms out to hug goodbye. For a moment he stood there staring at me, then cracked a half smile and hugged me back. (This is only the second time we’ve ever hugged/had physical contact other than him brushing up against my foot once accidentally).
    Last texts were a day before his birthday, I wished him well and we exchanged some banter. At this point he had not really been initiating any contact or dates like in the beginning so I left it at that.
    Now 1.5 months later, I’m sort of seeing someone else casually and he just texted me out of the blue! I was so shocked but had actually been thinking about and “sensing” him a lot in the last week. I began to cry when I saw his text because I liked him a lot! Our mannerisms, calm demeanor, similar living styles all mesh so well, as well as other personal commonalities. I waited about 1.5 hrs to reply. He asked how it was going. I said good and asked what’s new. He replied within a couple minutes so I knew he was just sitting at home lol. I didn’t say anything back and again he texted immediately after asking if I’d want to go in a hike with him. I said I’m working this weekend but am free next weekend. He said to let him know.
    Now I’m totally confused. Is he just treating me like a friend now(Aquarius Rising)? Did he get scared off once the foot fetish was revealed (Virgo moon)? Was the thrill of the chase snuffed out/was I pursuing too much (ALL of his Aries)??
    I am so so so excited that he’s back, especially because the Leo sun/Aquarius Moon I’m seeing now is unreliable, inconsistent, and incredibly arrogant and aloof. But I thought my Virgo moon man was gone for good and I was emotionally over him after 1.5 months have passed… I’m terrified of scaring him off again somehow and being heartbroken all over again.

    1. Hi Stephanie,

      Aries with Aquarius Rising and Virgo Moon…. boy he’s a mixture of hard asses. Aries is particular in how things are done. They want everything their way. Aquarius will cut you off with a second thought and Virgo needs to be told everything flat out or he is oblivious. Yes this guy is confusing to say the least. He sounds an acts like a very confused person going around in circles. My advice to you is to not be overly emotional with him. Everything you say to him has to sound logical or rational for him to pay attention. If you get irate with him, he will overreact with these signs. Be careful with yourself but always be honest with him. If you need more clarity you should check out my books on Aries Man Secrets sweetheart. There is way more information there. I wish you the best!

  16. Hi Anna,

    Have been dating a Virgo man for 4.5 months now. The last 3-4 dates we went on were all day long affairs, with him opening up a little more to me each time. We take turns planning dates and we never run out of things to talk about. A couple of times, I have texted the following Tuesday to plan another date for the coming weekend, but he will inform me he has plans to go out of town, but that he would like to get together when he’s back. Sure enough, he’ll text me the day after he gets back in town, showing me pictures of his trip. This is confusing to me because he doesn’t give me a head’s-up that he is going out of town. The only way I have found out is when I’ve tried to plan something for us to do. Any thoughts? Thank you!

    1. Hi Steph!

      Since you two are dating, you need to tell him that it bothers you if you haven’t already. Virgo men are oblivious to what you think or what you feel unless you actually tell him. Ask him to let you know next time so you’re not left hanging. It’s a courteous thing to do. Learn more about the Virgo man by reading my books on Virgo Man Secrets.

  17. Hello!

    I have been dating this Virgo man for about 2 months. We met on a dating app and hit it off right away. He was very attentive, communicative, and affectionate. About a couple of dates in, he asked me to be his girlfriend. He has even met my family, and his family, coworkers, and friends know about me but I did not get a chance to meet them yet. However, 3 weeks into the relationship, his best friend suddenly passes away in Egypt and he needed to fly there for obvious reasons. He is originally from Egypt and works in the States. Ever since he left, he has been acting distant, slowly stops calling me/texting, and updating me on the situation on if he will be back in the States and his mental state overall. At first, he was only supposed to be there for 10 days, now it extended to about a month and a half because he needs to help out the best friends family financially since they are struggling but after a certain deadline to pay their debts, he will be back he just does not know “when”. I tried to be there for him emotionally because I know that he is going through a hard time and even offered for him to come to Greece for a couple of days to decompress (I ended up flying to Greece for personal reasons and my birthday for a couple of weeks). He thought that was a wonderful idea since it is only a two-hour flight from there, but then after a couple of days when I asked him if he booked the flight, he tells me that he cannot leave his best friends family alone and that he is sorry. My birthday rolls around (I am a cancer), and he forgets to call or text. I ended up messaging him “happy birthday to me,” and he contacted me 30 minutes later, explaining the reason why he did not message me yet was that in Egypt it is customary for friends/significant others to contact their loved ones who are celebrating a birthday during the evening, and the mornings and afternoons are left for family and he assumed that it is the same in Greece. I then explained to him that that is not the case, that he can call me anytime. When I confronted him about his lack of communication multiple times and how unhappy I am with this hot and cold situation, that I should not have to beg for the attention of my own boyfriend, he responds with apologies and that I am right with how I feel and that he will try harder and see if he can fly to Greece to see me before I leave. 11 days have passed and have not heard from him since. I flew back to the States with more questions and crazy theories than answers. In my mind, we are no longer together even though we did not have a proper “breakup.” But this has gotten too far, and all I wanted was communication. I gave him as much space as I can and tried not to be pushy, but when someone goes from contacting me every day to coming up with different excuses for not contacting me I do not know what to think? I also want to point out that he is Muslim, and I’ve heard from many of my good Arabic friends that that can play a factor in noncommunication especially when it comes to dating Western Women such as myself. I don’t know. Am I being crazy? Would like some help in interpreting what has been going on so I can move on since I cannot hear it from the person himself. Thank You!

    1. Hi Stef!

      To be honest, I think there is more going on with him that you are unaware of because he’s not opening up with you and telling you. He may feel he’s not good enough for you or doesn’t deserve you. They especially feel this way if they are constantly reminded of what they should be doing or what they’ve done wrong. He’ll think that you deserve better than him and will step out of the way so that you can find someone else. Yes, it gets that crazy! I’d go silent on him for awhile and see what happens. If he really cares for you he will reach out. If he’s done and hasn’t had the courage to tell you, he won’t reach out to you and you’ll have your answer. Try focusing on yourself and doing what you love most in the world. He needs to figure out what he wants!

      1. Hello Anna Kovach!

        Thank you very much for responding to me and giving me your input. Unfortunately, I still haven’t heard from him, so I am assuming that he hasn’t had the courage to tell me. I appreciate your help, thank you!

  18. I’m a Gemini women and I’ve been dating my Virgo man for 6 months now he does do the hot and cold thing often but always has a good reason for it either busy working or building something ,which I always try to be understanding about ..latley however he’s been way more busy then usual with work ..Still would text me sometime during the day and usually would chat on the phone with me almost every night, Always his lovey dovey self with so many plans for our future…However something bad happened money wise with him (somebody stole his identity)and made fraudulent charges in his name which I know is a bunch for him to deal with at once…but since then he’s been giving me the cold shoulder luckily it hasn’t been for days but I do sense the distance regardless.He still tells me he loves me and is communicating though his messages are pretty short and I’m not at all getting as fast of a response as I’m use to (I basically had to beg for a response the other day because I was concerned especially with everything recently going on with him )also noticed he hasn’t wanted to talk on the phone either these past few days since this happened ..should i be worried yet ?

    1. Hi Candice!

      Froom what you’ve told me, I don’t think you should worry. He’s under a great deal of stress which renders him unable to be who he should be in the relationship. It’s not on the forefront of his mind. I mean, that’s some hard stuff to go through. It’s quite a traumatizing event really. It’s hard. If he’s still telling you he loves you and is communicating (even if short), then you have nothing to worry about. Be his rock and show him that you’re still there for him through this dark time. He’ll come out of it! I wish you the best.

  19. Oh this site and comment thread has been so eye opening! I really wish I’d seen it before the “incident” with my virgo lol

    Dating/talking about four months, he was just gorgeous, always did his best to text back, have so much in common and perfect guy for me. Has a REALLY intense job as a chef. We just had a perfect weekend together, then his kitchen lost the only other chef and his boss, being a tyrant, makes him work seven days. Going into week two I make the mistake of asking if he is giving me the cold shoulder. He says his head is a mess and can’t be with me with everything going on. I went to his house (I’m a Leo, spontaneous check in lol) and OMG this man was so burnt out. He kept saying “I’m just really tired” and I could see it. I felt so bad, I didn’t understand until I saw it first hand. But I’m in love with him. It’s unconditional love and I have accepted that this will take a long time. I’ve been giving him space, I told him that day I completely adore him and he says he adores me too. I asked him to just think about us when he finally gets to relax and settle down and he said okay, said we will talk soon. Big bone crunching hug. So it’s been a few weeks, I send txts sporadically, asking if he’s coping which he seems to appreciate. Txted him last night and he responded and engaged a little. Still generally quiet but please if you can confirm lol my intuition and understanding is he is still working his way out of this dark place, but all hope not completely lost? I’m not going anywhere. I’ve waited my whole life for this man and I don’t care if he needs patience, months and consistent love and effort from me. My question is am I going about this right? Just gentle check ins to let him know the door is open when he is ready? I know he has run off every woman that ever got close, he says his job “consumes him”. I’m so glad I went to see him, it showed me when he says it’s not me it’s really not. Right now I’m working on myself, I do NOT want to project insecurities on him like that again. That was my part in it. I know we both have old wounds, I think he’s been pressured before and he took it that way. I’ve been cheated on a lot and silence with my exes usually meant they were up to no good. We both projected and I know we both have healing to do. So any advice is welcome, we are 38 years old, I’m very serious and I know his work and coping mechanisms need compromise from my side and I’m 100% in. Should I give it a month or so? Or is this good, keeping contact so he knows I’m still here.

    1. Hi Melanie!

      It absolutely sounds like you’re handling it the right way. Being patient and understanding is something your Virgo guy needs right now. He’s going through something heavy and draining. You’re showing him there without pressure and stress. Bravo sweetheart. I’m actually pretty proud of the way you’re handling it. Keep up the great work. He’ll appreciate it greatly. I wish you all the love you deserve!

  20. Hi. This is new to me, i’m writing this with tears. Not sure if it mattrers but i’m a cancer. 2 1/2 years ago my long time friend made a move at me. We always loved eachother but never crossed lines (because he never really made a firm move). We met when we were 22/23. We’re now 36/37. so he fialy made a move 2+ years ago and we would talk on the phone alot and then he suddenly disappeared. I was sitting home one day thinking about him and suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by an unknown # calling my phone. I answered, it was him. He asked me to meet him for dinner and to talk and also told me he was staying at a condo and if i get too tired, there is a 2nd room. (of course i didn’t totally buy that). I went and he was being really nice and didn’t even mention his absence. He even kissed me on the cheek and held my hands while we were driving to dinner. At that point, i pulled away and said “are we not going to address your absence?” He claimed, it was me that sent him a message telling him to stay away. Yes, i did send a message in 2019 because he disappeared from me after communicating on the phone for weeks, i sent message etc and nothing. He knows i had history people hurting me so i sent him that message. He read it and never responded. 2 years later we are back here.
    He apologized and we had a great time and the chemistry was there and we kissed. It was passionate and yes, we made love (thats what it felt like). I remember sleeping and he told me he loved me and that he wants to give me the world. I thought it was weird. I told him, “please know what you want, are you sure?” He said he always wanted us to be together but thought i never wanted him. He left Miami and went back to GA and invited me to GA 3 weeks later. I went. While there i had the time of my life, he introduced me to his family and celebrated his father’s 75th bday at a beautiful restaurant. During my visit while doing my hair (he was in the shower) i saw a text from a woman professing her love for him and she wanted to know why he isn’t replying to her. So of course my curiosity was hightened b/c he did that to me before. So i screened shot the msg and stored her number. I went on about the trip with a smile and was still in love but somewhat apprehensive. I started to ask him if he was serious and whether he is seeing anyone. He denied denied and said he is only now seeing me. When i got back to FL i called the woman and asked her. She stated that he told her he does not want a relationship but they had sex a week before i came to visit him. I called him screaming and he kept denying. Until i sent him the screenshot and since then he has become distant. Doesn’t answer text/calls. This was suppose to be a friend and someone who said he always wanted to be with me and start a family. Neither of us have kids and wanted that (he initiated that conversation). Now, his conversations (if/when we do talk) has changed to he thought he was ready and that he meant it but he needs time to process and that he had alot to think about regarding where his life is going etc. I am devastated once more. Approximately 6 weeks since he walked back into my life this happens and he has since disappeared again into thin air. No calls/texts. I called him xmas eve and we spoke a bit. He called me xmas day and spoke for 2 mins and toldme he was going to a dinner and never heard from him again. It’s now NYE and still nothing. I am crushed to my soul.

    1. Hi cjay!

      I am sorry you’re dealing with this. Unfortunately a Virgo will look at the fact that you invaded his privacy looking at his phone and taking a screenshot more than he’ll deal with the fact that he had sex with another woman right before seeing you. In other words he’ll put all the focus on the wrong thing so that YOU are in the wrong, not him. The truth is, you’re not hearing from him because he knows he was wrong but he won’t admit this. I wouldn’t expect to hear back from him and you shouldn’t reach out asking him for anything either because until he can admit he’s in the wrong then there is no resolve. I wish you all the very best in love and life as you deserve it!

  21. I’ve been dating a Virgo man for about 6 months now. Things started off pretty hot and heavy. I was the cautious one while he was insistent on rushing into things like living together, marriage and having kids. I’m a Libra, btw, and we’re both in our mid-thirties. He was very attentive and sweet and affectionate at first…I would say he was the man of my dreams. I did end up moving in and getting engaged pretty quick, but ever since he’s gone cold and distant. I don’t know if it’s because he got what he wanted and he doesn’t have to chase me anymore, but when I brought up his lack of affection and how’s he’s changed, he said he’s not going to “court” me forever. I told him it’s not about courting, it’s about doing things for the person that you love or wanting them close because you love them. Holding my hand from time to time isn’t courting. Anyway, we’ve since had more conversations about this and he always puts the blame on me even though I’m always the one to give love. Even if I try to hug him he goes stiff and asks me what I’m doing. It’s weird! He’s told me he notices the distance but blames me and says I’m the first girlfriend he’s ever had that doesn’t cuddle up with him on the couch or snuggle up with him in bed. But the reason I don’t is because I read signals and every time I’ve tried he finds a reason to move or get up. He used to put his arm out so I could lay in his arms, but now he crosses his arms or turns his back to me…but somehow he still expects me to get close and put my arm or leg around him? And then even if I try, again, he’ll either find an excuse to get up or he’ll just lay there like a robot without snuggling back. I don’t get it. He tells me what he wants (most of the time after a few drinks) but acts like he doesn’t want it when I try. He tells me he’s in love with me, but I don’t know why he doesn’t show it or doesn’t accept it when I try to show him. I’m ready to give up, I’ve tried can only be rejected so many times. If he’s not happy with me, why wouldn’t he just let me go? I’ve never experienced this with anyone ever. Is this typical of Virgo men?

    1. Hi Michele!

      Ok so what you need to do with your guy is go ahead and throw yourself on him to snuggle. Screw his “signs” or “signals”. You do what you want to do and if he doesn’t like it, he will certainly let you know. Many Virgo men are weird in the way that they don’t like being touchy feely as much as other signs. They want affection but then they don’t. I don’t ordinarily say this but you need to smother him with affection. I know that sounds crazy but honestly if you don’t, he’s going to blame you and say you’re not making the effort to show him the care. Now… if he doesn’t like it when you are actually trying then he may not be “in love” with you or the honeymoon phase of your relationship has now died down some. He’s going back to his reality before you moved in. Yes, they are very confusing indeed. You’ll find out after multiple times of forcing affection on him whether he loves you or not. If he does, he will melt down and take it without too much complaint. If he isn’t “in love” anymore but loves you then he’s going to be rigid. Test him and find out so that you know where things stand. I wish you all the very best sweetheart!

  22. Hi Anna,

    I am new to understanding Virgo men, I have some close female Virgos in my life. I started talking to a Virgo man two months ago, we hit it off from the first conversation. It felt like we’ve known each other forever, he showed so much affection and would always reply to text messages, we spoke on the phone and often hanged out throughout the week. He would talk about where we would live and how many kids we will have. Also talked about his mom loving me and he can’t wait for me to meet her. Things were going to well and we decided to have a hotel staycation and i feel like maybe stuff started going downhill from there but his works been also stressing out. It started from not seeing me as much to also leaving me hanging over text, wouldn’t speak on the phone because he “fell asleep”. We went from seeing each other 2-3 times a week to barely once. There was a weekend where he barely messaged me, when i did see him i feel like i did bring up my insecurity in a way because I asked him where we stand and what this was? To which he agreed he was my bf and we are exclusive (this was also the last time I saw him) The following weekend he was away with family and didn’t message at all which i understand because he usually doesn’t message much when spending time with family. He started feeling very distant, he says work is stressful so i wouldn’t message him as much, which i was trying to give him his space. On friday I tried asking to catch up since i havent seen him in a while he eventually replied and said that its not fair to keep me waiting and that he needs to take a few steps back and figure some things out. I did response and tell him that i care about him and willing to give him the time and space he needs to figure things out and i’m here to listen if he ever wants to talk. Now i’m trying to keep busy but i get in my head a lot regarding what is on his mind? Am i the issue? is it work? Or everything? And how much time does he need or what to I even do from here. Ive never felt like this for anyone and i’m confused as to where I go from here? How long is too long? We definitely have something special and i don’t want to lose that.

    1. Hi R!

      You are not the issue. He is. When a Virgo man is 100% in love with someone, he will not ever think you’re bugging him when you call or text him. He’ll embrace it and appreciate it. He might not always answer back but that’s because sometimes they don’t unless they are asked a question. They’re kind of oblivious and many of them hate technology as well. If he’s taking a step back though, something is bothering him and he needs to work through it. It may have nothing to do with you at all. It may be other problems that are overwhelming him. He’s not good at compartmentalizing things. They can organize like no one’s business but they cannot organize their own thoughts and emotions as well. That said, I’d say go about your business and do things that make you happy. If he does care enough, he’ll be back around and if he doesn’t then you’ll know he isn’t into it anymore. How long is too long is up to you as far as how long you care to wait. You have to make that decision and stand by it. I wish you all the luck and love you deserve!

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