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Are Virgo Men Difficult? How Hard Is It to Win His Heart?

Many women write to me and ask: are Virgo men difficult? They are uncertain whether or not a Virgo man they’ve gotten themselves involved with really like them or are playing with them.

At times the Virgo man can be a bit difficult to read,  until you get to really KNOW them.

The Nature of the Virgo Man

So, if you’ve been wondering: are Virgo men difficult? The answer is: the Virgo man is actually quite simple when you think about it. While he can be critical of himself and of his partner; his intent is only that to improve what he perceives as a weakness.

To a sensitive person, this can be perceived as cold, calculated or flat out mean. He doesn’t mean to be this way. He’s just trying to be honest with you and it’s up to you whether or not you can handle his version of the truth.

Aside from this; he wants a very simple and stable life. He wants a partner who understands him, has similar qualities, can help him to be a bit more outgoing, someone who will be truthful with him and will basically be his soul mate.

He wants a relationship that will last a lifetime. Once he truly loves someone he loves them with all he’s got which makes him vulnerable to possible heartbreak. He goes out of his way more than other signs to avoid that pain.

This also makes him seem cold or “unreachable”. He’ll play the get hot and cold game until he feels comfortable. Hot as in he tells you he likes you and wants to spend time with you.

Next thing you know he’s off doing his own thing and you don’t hear from him for a while or maybe he doesn’t respond to your text message.

He’s re-affirming he is self-sufficient and he’s being careful with his heart to make sure you don’t break it. Once you understand this; you’ll be able to truly know why he does what he does.

Hard To Pin Down

Two lovers in blue clothing in nature park outdoors hug and kiss - Are Virgo Men Difficult

Many women claim or ask themselves: are Virgo men difficult? Because he is a difficult one to snag up. The truth is they’re really particular with what they are looking for. If he’s being “off” or somewhat “cold” to you; he may just not be that into you.

He isn’t super affectionate when he’s getting to know someone. There is a rare occasion though that he’ll immediately open up and go with the flow. If he does it’s because he’s very intuitive and simply KNOWS this person is the one.

He’s always looking for his soul mate. If he feels in some way that the person he is dating or seeing isn’t living up to that; he’ll pull back. He can on occasion pull back from fear also.

If he gets too close to someone and it becomes scary good; he’ll be terrified it could fail. However; the pulling back is typically very temporary and he’ll come back ready to fully commit.

He’s slow to make a choice because he always wants to make sure he’s doing the right thing, choosing the right person, and doing what feels good.

A Misunderstood Sign

Some call the Virgo man the prude of the Zodiac. That actually is really not true at all. He just isn’t one to want to dive into bed without getting to know someone or establishing a relationship.

He isn’t the type to do one night stands or “friends with benefits”. If he does agree to something like that it likely will not last as she will not be the one he will want to live out his life with. He’ll see her as a temporary solution.

The Virgo man isn’t as cold as some make him seem. He’s every bit as upfront and honest as any Sagittarius. He’s just honest with himself in what he’s looking for. He will not settle for less.

This sensual man is very finicky but it’s for a purpose. It’s not because he wants to be perceived as a cold-hearted jerk. He’s actually very warm, tender, funny, sensual, passionate, and loyal when he’s in love.

If he’s not heading in that direction with you he may just not be that interested or doesn’t see himself having a future with you. It’s not because he’s horrible or that you are. It just means he’s being honest with what he feels.

Honesty does not mean cold and calculated. It means that sometimes the truth isn’t what someone wants to hear. Sadly he gets a very bad reputation for being honest. And it might be why women ask me: are Virgo men difficult?

When he criticizes

Casual meeting outside - Are Virgo Men Difficult

If he does get this way with you it’s because he cares and it has nothing to do with this question: are Virgo men difficult? It may not seem like it and to some, it seems like he’s picking on them. He always sees ways to improve life, improve oneself and help others improve themselves.

Caring about you includes giving you advice on how you can improve something. It’s not because he doesn’t like you or thinks you’re problematic. He’s simply trying to improve your life.

Honestly, if he doesn’t like you or doesn’t want to be with you he’ll make it very evident and is likely to actually tell you that it’s not working and walk away. He doesn’t like wasting his time and energy.

When he takes time out for himself; he isn’t doing it because he isn’t into you. It’s because he’s either too close to you or just needs to breathe for a minute. Don’t panic! Let him have his time and space he’ll reward you for it.

When all Else Fails

If after this you still feel as though he’s torturing you; perhaps you should just flat out ask him what is on his mind regarding the two of you. He will be honest with you.

He may not offer the information up front because he’s still processing everything and figuring out what direction he wants to go in. If you ask him though; he’ll tell you what’s going on. You may or may not like the answer.

Either way, you’ll know for sure what is going on in his head. Click here for more information on what you can learn about his behaviors.

I hope this helps clear up some misunderstandings that some websites put out there about the Virgo man.

What do you think? Are Virgo men difficult?

Share your story (or situation) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).

Wishing you all the luck of the universe

Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,

Anna Kovach



10 thoughts on “Are Virgo Men Difficult? How Hard Is It to Win His Heart?

  1. Hi anna,

    I truly appreciate your blog. and I want to know more about a virgo man. because I myself is dating one. Here’s the thing, I’ve been going out lately with a virgo guy. He’s actually 10 years older than me. We always invites me to eat on our favorite fast food chain and we end our date having coffee while waiting for the sunrise together on our favorite coffee shop. Everytime that I am with this virgo guy he opens up about him getting married and how scared he is to become a father one day. he said that he is afraid that he might not be able to carry out the responsibility. We haven’t talked for a week like we used to but oncein awhile he sends me message and asks if I missed him. Last night, He invited me again in the middle of the wee hours to eat out but I suddenly said that I can’t because I ran out of money. then he just replied that he’ll just get the food delivery. I kinda felt sad because I wanted to see him. I actually said I was really hungry but I’ll just sleep and eat when I wake up but after a few minutes he texted me that we just go out so that I can eat. and then I asked him what about the food delivery, He said that he doesn’t mind he’ll just give it to his dog. I was really touched about what he did. But he hasn’t opened up to me or cleared out any of his intentions. what do you think? does he like me or he just being friendly?

  2. truly appreciate your blog. and I want to know more about a virgo man. because I myself is dating one. Here’s the thing, I’ve been going out lately with a virgo guy. He’s actually 10 years older than me. We always invites me to eat on our favorite fast food chain and we end our date having coffee while waiting for the sunrise together on our favorite coffee shop. Everytime that I am with this virgo guy he opens up about him getting married and how scared he is to become a father one day. he said that he is afraid that he might not be able to carry out the responsibility. We haven’t talked for a week like we used to but oncein awhile he sends me message and asks if I missed him. Last night, He invited me again in the middle of the wee hours to eat out but I suddenly said that I can’t because I ran out of money. then he just replied that he’ll just get the food delivery. I kinda felt sad because I wanted to see him. I actually said I was really hungry but I’ll just sleep and eat when I wake up but after a few minutes he texted me that we just go out so that I can eat. and then I asked him what about the food delivery, He said that he doesn’t mind he’ll just give it to his dog. I was really touched about what he did. But he hasn’t opened up to me or cleared out any of his intentions. what do you think? does he like me or he just being friendly?

    1. Hi Danielle! What many women do not know about the Virgo man is how generous he actually can be. He would help just about anyone that needs it and not ask any questions about it. He’s always there for his friends and family when they need his help. What he did for you doesn’t surprise me. It sounds like he’s actually already opened up to you to some degree talking about marriage and fear about possibly becoming a father. That’s very personal and private. Virgo men don’t tell anyone their personal business unless they see something there and feel they can trust their partner. Give him time and be patient. He will continue to open up to you as time goes on and certainly if he makes a bigger commitment to you.

  3. I have a Virgo man friend and I was worried about him a few weeks ago and I sent him a few texts just to let him know I was there if he needed any help and he had a go at me for texting him even though I hadn’t for at least 4 weeks! So I decided to give him some space which I think he will appreciate and to my amazement he text me twice and we had a texting session. But he does confuse me as he won’t always open up to me. We’ve known each other for quite a while, but only got back in touch 3 years ago, it’s strange because I feel like I know him but I also feel like I don’t know him! Once I can coax him to chat and open up he doesn’t stop talking. He is a mystery!

    1. Hi Sue!

      Yes, sometimes giving space makes him feel more comfortable and at ease. If you two are only friends then he doesn’t feel he needs to fully open up with you. If there is something that you want with him on a more romantic tone, you’ll have to tell him that otherwise he’ll be oblivious and stay friends. Keep initiating and keep coaxing and you’ll break down his walls. You may want to read my book “Virgo Man Secrets” to reveal even more information.

      1. Hi,

        I hope you see this and respond, I need help! I have a Virgo male friend I can’t understand. He tells me he only wants to be friends but he make sure he doesn’t lose contact with me. During the call we may get into a debate and he then says this is why we can’t go further in a relationship. If he feels this way. Why does he keep calling? It’s not that I want him to stop calling but it’s torture that he keep calling because I am in love with him and want a future with him.

        1. Hi Nicole!

          It seems that he’s not ready for a relationship so he opts to have this friendship with you for now. With time and patience, he’ll get to know you better. He wants to see what this could be like without being actually in it. He keeps calling because he likes you otherwise he wouldn’t. If you love him then you’ll be patient and see where it leads. He needs to have reassurance it will work before he dives in. Being friends an opening up to each other is a definite way to build that trust and care. If you would like more tips, check out my Virgo man books sweetheart.

  4. Hello Anna,
    I have known a virgo guy for 4 months , two of them are dating and two of them were via texting since I was away. After first month of talking he lost his father and we continued talking eventhough he became quite distant and we started dating face to face two months ago when I came back .
    He always expresses how much he likes me and when I am with him I feel so much love and he will be like Romeo. However he doesn’t plan to see me much and its been bothering me and I have picked up some fights with him about his lack of effort. He always says he is busy focused on his work and he is probably dealing with alot of emotions now and trying to stand still on his foot again. I sometimes come off as dramatic and needy but its only because i feel the lack of his effort to make time for me, even though we texts so often. If he feels that I am pushing him he becomes cold and behaves rudely.
    He told me he needs time so that he can be where I want him to be ( emotionally and commitment wise )
    Like he would say things like you are made for me and the next day he would cancel to meet me. I am very confused. I am struggling since I get anxious and I am trying not to be needy so that he doesn’t close off. Please give me an advice.

    1. Hi Maryanne!

      The way he reacts to what he perceives as negativity or pushing with coldness. That’s a Virgo for sure. If he’s telling you he’s working on himself so that he can give you all you deserve then that’s what he’s doing. He’s not in a place yet where he can give you his all so either you need to move on OR you can have patience to wait him out. Give him time to see if he really does get himself together. That’s about the only way you two have a chance. I think if he’s telling you the truth about how much he cares then you shouldn’t shoot that down sweetheart. Virgo men are complicated and he sounds very typical of the sign. If you need more help, check out my guides on Virgo Man Secrets. I wish you the best!

      1. Hello Anna

        Thank you so much for your reply. He recently asked for space and I agreed with him, even though i am very sad inside ( i tried so hard to keep my emotions in check ) . I asked him if its space or he want to end things, so he said he just needs space and he said also i hope you dont disappear, and its no ones fault its just now is not a good time for him. And I also asked him if he wants us to be together in the near future. He said yeah and that we fit so well together.
        So taking on from this its been 5 days. He checked on me once via instagram since he know i was traveling. I replied in a short way in respect to his need of space and to not make a convo.
        I am not talking to him or anything and waiting for him to reach out. How long should I wait and do you suggest that i only talk if he reaches ?
        Also, should I apologize to him for being negative and impatient and that added pressure on him without him realizing ?
        I am not sure if he is also taking me for granted.

        Is there anyway we can talk on emails ?

        Thanks alott !!!

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