How To Hurt a Virgo Man: Some Pretty Weird Ideas

by Anna Kovach, relationship astrologer
The article is about how not to hurt a Virgo guy. I would never instigate anyone to purposefully hurt someone. Read more here.

The article is about how not to hurt a Virgo man. I would never instigate anyone to purposefully hurt someone. I would never instigate anyone to purposefully hurt someone they care for or did care for at some point.

How you can not hurt a Virgo man is by reading this article to help guide you:

Lying or Betrayal

It takes a great deal of time for a Virgo man to trust someone. He’s much like Scorpio in this regard as far as being untrusting of people. He does learn from his mistakes when he does trust the wrong people.

In time, he becomes somewhat jaded and very much on guard when it comes to allowing people into his close-knit circle. He’s very picky about whom he chooses to share his life with.

That being said, it takes quite a long time for him to build trust toward a partner. It’s frustrating for her because she feels that she’s done plenty to show him that she’s not going to break his heart.

However, there are women that get into his heart over a period of time and at some point decide that lying to him is a necessity in order to not hurt his feelings or piss him off.

This is a HUGE mistake. Virgo men are perceptive and can tell if someone is not being truthful with them. It means that if you lie to him, he will absolutely know or will unfold it in a short amount of time.

He’s always suspicious as it is and so when he can tell something is off, he will dig and he will pay more attention to the point where he cannot let it go. He will be hurt and pissed that you were dishonest.

Another thing would be betraying him by going behind his back, talking to his friends about him, talking about his personal life to anyone, or even cheating on him. Any of these will cause him to go into a tailspin.

Once you’ve broken trust with him due to lying or betraying him in some way, he will NEVER trust you again. He may try to forgive you but he will never forget and will likely accuse you of things you aren’t doing simply because he cannot trust you.

That would be a miserable life with your Virgo wouldn’t it? To have him not trust you and always suspicious of what you’re doing or with whom? Here’s a tip… don’t betray him or lie to him… EVER.

Criticizing Him is a No-No

Young couple quarreling outdoors - How to hurt a Virgo man

The Virgo man is known for being a critical thinker. He’s also one to hold on to things for life. He files them away in his subconscious to bring up at a later date when someone insults him, hurts him, or pisses him off.

Though he himself is very critical of others, he’s also extremely critical of himself so the last thing he needs is someone else pointing out his flaws. I know this sounds like a double standard but trust me, he’s harder on himself than anyone else.

He needs a partner who is going to support him, give him love, be understanding, and will let him know if he’s doing something wrong but in a gentle way. Be truthful but do it in a diplomatic fashion.

If you point out something he’s doing wrong without using a soft approach, he will take it as criticism or that you don’t trust him the way he’s doing it. He takes things very hard and yes, it will hurt him.

He is particularly fragile and vulnerable when you talk about his personal life. Criticizing him in the bedroom may break him. It’s probably better for you to ask him to try another way or a new technique.

He’ll respond better to that than “you really didn’t hit the spot” or “you could have done it another way”. Don’t say things like that or you will hurt him on a very deep level thus making his self-esteem take a huge dive.

Not Giving Him Attention/Affection

The Virgo man is a very strong and serious type of guy. He can come off as cool or aloof but the truth is, he’s very soft on the inside and is capable of love you cannot even imagine.

If you ignore him, blow him off or don’t give him affection, you will hurt a Virgo man. He will chalk that up to you not being into him anymore and will likely shut down or even exit the situation with great pain.

He feels things VERY deeply even if he won’t tell anyone. He’s a bit empathetic so he feels what everyone else feels but he won’t speak up. He feels he needs to be strong and never let anyone see his weak side.

When he’s dating someone, he won’t tell her about his vulnerability. He may get very hurt by any sleight that he experiences. He wants to be loved, cared for, and given lots of loving.

If you have no intention of doing this or you aren’t the type that is very affectionate then you may not work well with a Virgo. He wants someone who is passionate, empathetic, soft, and generous.

Any time he feels someone being cold to him, he takes offense to it and it will give him a horrible blow to his self-esteem. He may say he doesn’t care about what people think of him but he actually does.


He gets very hurt when he feels that someone doesn’t like him for whatever reason. As a woman, your job is to make him feel loved and that you are the one person he can put his faith in.

Showing him that he cannot have faith in you will certainly hurt him and turn him into a giant ice cube or he will disappear out of your life without a trace. He has no trouble cutting someone out of his life.

Have you ever hurt a Virgo man? Let me know! Click here for more details on him!

Share your story (or situation) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).

Wishing you all the luck of the universe

Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,

Anna Kovach

About Author

Hi, this is Anna Kovach. I am a professional Relationship Astrologer and author of dozens of bestselling books and programs. For over a decade I’ve been advising commitment-seeking women like you and helping them understand, attract and keep the man of their dreams using the astonishing power of astrology. Join over 250K subscribers on my newsletter or follow me on social media! Learn more about me and how I can help you here.

10 thoughts on “How To Hurt a Virgo Man: Some Pretty Weird Ideas

  1. im aquarius i met this guy in college we were boardmates.At firts i was not attracted but hes cool and sexy the way of playing musical instruments he’s friends told me he seems interesting in me i just laugh we became friends challenge me to get him for he has high standards then we became more than friends.After going to church he talk to me and tell me that i was not the one he likes i said ok but deep down i’m hurt but i don’t want to show it.We drink he begun to talk to me i front of my friends saying “your hurt right”.we debate and he insults just because we play with him, he doesn’t know that i’m not playing anymore.After that fight even he apologize trough text for what happen i totally ignored him.2 weeks after ,i send him a letter then we began all over again.he hugged me, kiss me in the morning ,dance and play guitar while i’m singing.I know i loved him but i couldn’t trust him i just go with the flow and to be with him.The landlady caught us sleeping together.I go home he used to call me at night. we cry dont know why so weird. I go back to school i got drug i was so high didnt think what i’m doing i cheat then my friends tell him. After i went home it was too late when i read the later he hide in my pillow he’s totally serius with me.But then it’s totally late for us. I try to chase but he totally shut me down i was lost with myself.I regret what happen. Its was very painful.But still what i learn from that past is when you truly love someone don’t cheat.Dont pretend how you feel that’s all.

    1. Hi aqua girl!

      Yes all the things you’ve said do indicate that the two of you loved each other. Some part of you wasn’t ready for it though if you cheated. Drugs do not make people do things. Hidden feelings or lack thereof do. It just helps you do what you wouldn’t normally do. That being said, you didn’t know how serious he was. The heartbreak here is that Virgo men do not typically forgive this unless they are married but even then, it stays on their mind. I am sorry to say but it may be exceedingly difficult to get him back. Miracles do happen. Perhaps as the years go by you two will still love each other and give it a try again. Never say never!

  2. So wait a second,,,I am supposed to walk around eggshells for this Virgo male???? UM I do not think so.. I was interested in one and I can see the signs, the mood swings, the in and out with emotions the back and forth. No thanks not for me. I will keep him in the friend zone. And if he doesn’t want that either? That is okay with me as well.

    1. Hi Bela T!

      Walk on eggshells? No. Think before you blurt things out? Yes. You cannot take back the things you say and so if you just say things without thinking then it will often result in backlash. It’s really up to you but it does require the right woman to capture and keep the Virgo man. No one is saying be docile and not stand up for yourself. Being nasty toward him though isn’t a good approach. The correct communication route is often best. He appreciates truth even if he doesn’t like it at first. He knows the truth is better than being lied to. Holding things back doesn’t help anyone either. If you choose friendship, that is also entirely up to you sweetheart. Do what makes you happy. I wish you all the very best!

  3. im a virgo male and what this article says is true. too many people think that a virgo is a moody a**hole, when really we communicate very well about things that matter to us and they always fall on deaf ears. when somebody tells us that something bothers them, we take it seriously and change it basically overnight bc we care about you and dont want to hurt you. when we ask for the same, its goes ignored and basically after reminding you a couple times about it and no change then youll hear about it next time you accuse us of being unfair to you. is that a Virgo trait, or just a regular person standing up for themselves and call you to accountable like you hold us to. its not rocket science. would you like to be lied to? would you like to be told somebody loves you then they turn around and joke about leaving you, or flirt with somebody in front of your face? i hope not. i hope you understand a little more about virgo men by what im trying to convey. the punchline? we love the people we feel safe with. we would literally die for the people we love. please dont be mean and treat us like were just a throw away zodiac sign because we care ok. just pay attention and give a little of yourself to be intimate with a virgo. they will not let you down unless you look like you’re looking for somebody else to be with. i can say it anymore truthful than that.

    1. Hi mark!

      Wow! Thank you for chiming in and sharing about yourself. I really appreciate your input! All that you’ve said are things I know to be absolutely true about Virgo men. I get first hand information from my best friend who happens to be married to one. I wish you all the happiness in love mark!

  4. Hello! I’m Cancer and I am married to a Virgo Man for 16 years. We got married early I was 24 and he was 22 years old. I got pregnant and we got married. During the 5th year of our marriage He met another women they dated for months and when I found out about their affair things got worst. I was hurt I can’t believe that I was busy looking after our daughter and working and yet he cheated… He promised to change be better and will forget her but somehow he gets back to his normal routine and attitude of being cold, distant and unsatisfied. After 10 years he told me that he is still in love with the other women and he wants to try if their relationship will work. But he still want me and he wants to know who he loves more. I found it unfair and selfish. If he really likes the girl a lot he needs to choose- The wife or the Mistress??? It’s giving me a panic attack and I am unable to focus at work and to out daughters now. Please help?? I want to move on and not be part of his strategy to meet the girl to know who he loves more. No matter how I explain the pros and cons of his actions he still insist on what he wants. I am happy he opened up and told me his deep dark secrets on all they did with the women. He said I am cute and smart but we are not compatible but as a cancer women I am deeply hurt as he didn’t even bother to think about the kids 🙁

    1. Hi Crabby24!

      Oh my gosh sweetheart! My heart goes out to you. NO he cannot have you both. You are for more worth it. If he cannot decide then you need to decide if you will stick with him and see if he changes or you need to get out and move forward. Focus on the kids and take care of yourself. Make sure he financially takes care of the kids too. Don’t let him weasel out of that. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. Stand up for yourself and do not let him do this anymore. There is someone else out there that will take much better care than he’s doing. I wish you nothing but the best sweetheart!

  5. I am a Leo, I dated my Virgo ex for 11months….at first it was heaven on earth, very helpful and supportive…. after 5 months he started to become distant and cold….I spoke to him, he promised to change…it was all good a month later he went silent on me. I started getting sick, only to find out i had STDs…(I only slept with him) when i asked him he only claimed to have slept with me only… Before breaking up I found out he had impregnate his colleague …. which lead to our break up. I later found out he was sleeping with a girl he claimed was just a friend…. I hate him for ruining my life…

    1. Hi lillie!
      Usually silence means they are either hiding something or they are unhappy. Sounds like in his case, he was hiding something he felt guilty about. Man… I am sorry this happened. That really stinks. He’s a bad egg sweetheart. Not all Virgo men are stinkers like this. Many are loving and loyal. Feel what you need to but let it go also. You need to open yourself back up for love so that the right one can come to you. I wish you all the very best!

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